Random Leaf #1894

After seeing you inside your coffin

It just dawned on me how small you were.

I already noticed how you grew smaller 

than I am the last time I got to be with you.

and how i was a playful and childish

as if you weren't my grandmother,

yet somehow, this is the truth,

later on, i never saw you as my grandmother

but an old friend, not one that is of old aged,

but one I've known for a very long time.

But as moments passed and with me living every fleet of it,

I recalled it as something nothing

much to be considered of thought

a mere simple passing of notice, unimportant.

I even hardly remember how each time we see each other,

your gaze to me became simply higher and higher,

while I was always looking at elsewhere

and maybe sometimes at your tired eyes 

that worries much about of things foreign to me.

maybe one of them is about what I'll eat for dinner when I comeback home.

oh! how I wish i could have counted still

your many white hairs, uban

that you always asked me to pluck out

and i, the loved and privileged,

was simply and as always, too lazy to do

of which later in life I came to adore white hairs

partly because you have it

and another because i believe those with white hairs can do magic,

this is a childhood whim I know to be fiction

but i try to be respectful of it.

As much as i know you do have powers akin to sorcery and great secrets.

such thing no matter great though

cannot be boxed in such a coffin you are in.

you're a treasure placed in chest

incomparable to your real value.

and no matter how tall and big i've become,

I know for a fact you cannot see me as someone high up.

You will always see me as your little grandchild

misguided, precious and ever so fragile.

of which I fsiled to mirror to you equally

how much you loved me to thr brim.

your coffin is simply too small and tight

for the vastness of who you actually are.