Random Leaf #1826

"Is it right for authors to have favorites?"

"Being more favored doesn't always being guaranteed an easy path. No author would want a bland story. There will be flaws, there will mistakes, there will hardship and I assure you, the character I most adore will not simply get hurt. They will be tempered through fire. I will have them wear bruises and scars if so I deem the story dictates it. I will have them nit live up to their principles, fail their duty, lose honor and even commit sin, be it trivial or grave. This is all for the story."

"Aren't you afraid of them failing? What if they give up? What if they.. unexpectedly face a dire fate? What if the end you wish for them will not be where they are headed?"

"Short answer, I get to decide. But to be fair, I want a story. I want one that is beautiful and will be remembered or read by many generations hence. My heroes won't simply be living a simple uneventful life. They will be heroes not only by own standard but by many as well. They will be models. They will be remembered."

"They will hate you for this. You do know what you're saying is just you being selfish."

"It isn't my life I'm writing. It is theirs."

"At least give them respite in between. Give them reason to smile. Give the readers reason why they want to continue turning the page of a story of some character you made up."

"Oh! They will. Both the readers and my heroes. I'll promise you that."

"Sounds to me you're just some sort of masochistic narcissistic psycho."

"Aren't all authors eccentric?"

"True but can't you just have a heart?"

"I let them live, my characters. And I let the readers read a very interesting story. Isn't that already enough to say I'm kind?"

"You have traumas growing up. I can sense it."

"All authors do. And that's why we write."

Random Leaf #1825

"If it is as you say that no author can live in the stories they made, then surely what of those who wanted to stay?"

"Elaborate."

"I'm assuming that you want author to live in their made up world and eventually want to leave. What if there are those who became imprisoned have a different sense of freedom? Inside their made up fiction, they are more free and alive than outside."

"No prisoner would not want to be unfree."

"They are not real authors."

Random Leaf #1824

"Oh? I made a mistake," the author said. "I somehow gave my characters a happy ending."

"They deserved it," the author's friend said.

"Yes, but..." the author paused for a moment. "I never knew the idea that flaws make good stories can also apply to authors making a mistake."

"Just admit it. You grew attached to them. You always say you don't like them and that what you're doing is to hurt them."

The author couldn't reply. Did I always wanted them hurt?

"The main antagonist whom you most favored and envisioned yourself in have the same face as the main protagonist. And don't even say that the antagonist is evil, he was just made that way. He never wanted to be one. And the thoughts you have yourself said through your favorite, aren't the hero the answer? You too want love."

"I am not my fiction," the author retorted.

"But those are your thoughts." The author can't reply.

Random Leaf #1823

"It is not uncommon fornthe author to cause great on his favorites. It makes up a great story, even if it costs a loved one's life. First and foremost, the author is the writer. He gets to decide."

Random Leaf #1822

And all I could do is admire.

Random Leaf #1821

"Would I.. actually write a good story if I actually do care for my characters? Not just some fancy and intricate world building to put life in but for me to actually, you know, feel careful for my character as if they were my children."

"Then you wouldn't become a god. You'd be a good father if you do, just so you know."

"And that is.. a good thing?"

"I'd really love to say that depends on which of the two you'd value more, faith in god or a family you'd deeply care about. But whatever you choose is fine. You're not a god and certainly you not a father."

"Then, what should I become?"

"You know you already have a profession, right?"

"I'm a writer."

"Then a writer you should be."

Random Leaf #1820

"And if case you're wonder if ever God is randomly with us. Not the god we all think were good but the one who looked out for us. What do you think would he tell us?"

"Be good? I'm always with you? Keep away from the wrong path? I'll be watching over you? Be kind? You know, the usual thing A Mother would tell Her child."

"Take care of yourself."

"What?"

"Whatever path you take, take care of yourself. You're the main character of your story. Of course, The Author would be one to be most caring and loving to his beloved characters, especially one who's most loved."

"You speak funny. God picking favorites."

"Can The Author not favor one more than the rest? He is the author but the story is not His. It is His favorite's. Although it may sound absurd but to each of our own story, we ourself is the one most favored."

Random Leaf #1819

"Neither, I have faith in something."

"What is it then? Please do induldge my curious mind."

"Rebirth."

Random Leaf #1818

"And what of the afterlife?"

"What about it?"

"Well, based on the many religions we have, there can be a whole lot of different possibilities to happen after."

"Oh! Spare with you- Wait, never mind. Please, do fancy me. What are these possibilities you speak of?"

"Well, if you're half heartedly curious, I'll just mention a two: the eternal sea of fire and the.. I can't recall what it's called. I think it's like nothingness, everything just suddenly turns off. Much like how one throws a book somewhere off and time forget about it. The story of it is it's spirit, and the way it get's turn from each of it's pages is it's life. And once finally you closes and never to open it again, the life from it disappears. The story is there but as long as it isn't open, there will no longer be any life."

"Is there any good end for either?"

"If a good end it is you're seeking, in the sea of flame would be the complete purification, iron is never set in the furnace just for it to be only melted. Impurities must be eradicated and these are what we call the sin. Here after the temperance would be once more the forging, the redemption. And so once more, once all impurities are cleanse, we would've by then atone for all our sins. Only then can we go to somewhere.. nice."

"And about the nothingness?"

"No good ending for this. We just simply vanish, fade to existence. To nothingness. Only our memories and the body, that will soon rot, will remain. Those are all ultimately inessential to the spirit.. or perhaps not spirit, conciousness would be a better term. But death is the true absensce of conciousness. I hate this here after the most. No redemption, no atonement and all sense of what one achieved is simply useless after we're gone. But who am I to know? Who are we to actually know?"

"And of the two, which do you believe.. or rather which do you have faith in?"

Random Leaf #1817

"I was wielding both a gun and a sword in my two hands. I have fully committed myself things will not go pretty here on out but I was stopped. I was told to save everyone. At that moment, the only thought that surged through my mind was everything that have happened, all that they did and why. Why do I have to save them?

"They mocked me for my weakness, they regarded the kindness I give unto them as weakness. Unknown to them I'm keeping tabs. They owe me a bunch. All of them. Yet, they have the audacity to abuse my generosity, to hurt me and the ones I love. They called me names, insulted my mother and father, they hurled at me hurtful words, even more painful than the whip they lashed and the rocks they threw on me.

"They hated me from my very core as if I never did anything good for them. I did what I was asked, it was my duty so, but I didn't know I'd get paid like this. I acted upon love and kindness and gentleness as I was ordered. I have no need nor any sort of connection to all them yet I followed. I kept the faith. And this is my reward.

"I hate them. I hate them. They don't deserved to be loved. They don't deserve your love. It is only right for them to be abandoned. Yet why am I the one asked to bear the cross? It isn't weapons I have on my hands, it is a symbol of punishment. My own coffin that I myself have to carry.

"Why must I not forsake them? Father, father, why must I not forsake them? Why am I the one abandoned?"

Random Leaf #1816

"Why are you here and not practicing the way of the sword? Your friends are there learning more and more, yet here you are still. I am sure it isn't because you hold yourself so highly that you would reconsider such folly to not commit to the sword. You are not like that."

"I can't."

"You must think yourself as I am, the master then."

"No. I know no matter how much I would train, I couldn't simply catch up to you. You are holding the sword much longer than I, possibly held it even when I still yearning for milk when I was still a babe. I cannot see myself surpassing you in this path you are teaching us."

"Is it because you're sad?"

"The sword I call my own, I broke it."

"And the story?"

"I've been practicing the sword for a month or so and I've hit a wall. No matter what I do and no matter how much time I've sacrificed into getting better, I simply couldn't. I know and I believe that I can go beyond what I am now but.. nothing. I'm unable to improve. Is this end for me with the path of the sword?"

"Do you not enjoy training and practicing?"

"I do but when I tried having spar matches with my peers and fellow students, I can't beat them. I keep losing. As I've said, I feel like all my efforts are wasted. I don't feel I could enjoy the path of the swords like I used to. I don't like training with swords anymore. I think the path of swodd isn't meant for me. This is all a mistake."

"You're jusr tired. You just lost your enthusiast for the sword. But this isn't permanent. If you don't want to train and walk on the path of the sword, why are sad in the first? You're sad because you can't improve for now and you're sad because you broke your sword. But your sadness doesn't mean you want to quit. You're sad because you want to improve and you're sad because you're regretting what happened to your sword. All these doesn't mean you want to quit. All this doesn't mean you hate it."

"Yes but-"

"The dark circle around your eyes and tge calluses you have, those are mark you are enjoying the sword and that you want to keep on going. Yes, losing is painful and noticing miniscule to no improvement at all is frustrating but is that really the reasin why you started?

"A broken sword can be fixed or you could get a new one, and no effort is ever a waste. You've trained hard and have gone through many trials just to be here where you are. You have marks all over your body and this certain glim your eyes. You're just exhausted. You're enthusiast is just elsewhere for now. But I am certain sooner or later you will once again pick up the sword and be able to have enjoy it once more. So for now, rest."

Prometheus and the Two Murders

"So what is you came here to see? Surely not an old man dying not of old age but of defeat?"

"Defeat? In the first place you were never defeated, you never did try-" B

"Oh, yes, I apologize. I forgot. I am one who can't fly. So what is it you from me? If you're going to ask for techniques on how to fly, you must be out of your mind."

"We, children of sky, do not ask one who have no wings teachings of flight. We ask one to teach of the sky." A

"The sky you say? What kind of foolish winged folk would ask such none sense? Aren't you, who are already of the sky, more knowledgeable of what can't be reach by ones earthbound?"

"Your feet are but not your eyes-" A

"Enough with this, there is nothing to be gain from this endeavor." B

"Your friend is much wiser than you are beyond what colors your wings radiate more less than you. Shame, honor is given by the wings and not the crown."

"What say you old man?" B

"But alas, to repay such act of unintended kindness of recognition, I'll tell you this. The clouds are what the desert can't see and there sea that no clouds dare cross. If you happen by chance by a cactus afloat over sea be wary of it's thorn. On other instance that you find a carcass of a sea folk half buried somewhere in the middle beyond ocean reaches, beware of the oasis."

"You speak of riddles-" A

"He's a mad man no less than old. Such a waste we came." B

"Truly a crown is more worth than thousand wings that fold. Do not fret wise one, you will find what it is you want. And to the one who speak so highly who flaunts his wings unknown to the changes of weather, someday you will find what you need."

"Are you mocking us?"

"Be on your way, murderers, leave now. You've taken your fill, let the old man Prometheus take rest for the sun is already setting."

Random Leaf #1815

In case,

no one

had wondered.

Yes, I'm

not immortal.

I, too,

can die.

Random Leaf #1814

A hero came to me

seeking help.

When asked what he needs,

he told me what he wants.

I would respectfully decline,

had I not known

the hero and I once was

were both in the same boat.

I once more asked

what he needed,

he took his arms and demanded

what he wanted.

The obvious lies his face shows

and the glim of his eyes that

was foreign to what he actually is

showed his desparation.

He needed a friend to talk to,

I obliged.

A show of strength can be

another form conversation,

a great warrior once told me.

A Thousand Claps After

Give time to

let the world

pray for you.

It is the

silence after tribulation

would you ultimately

fear the uncertain.

And when you

hear the rain,

a few moment

hence would you

realize it isn't

rain you're hearing.

Random Leaf #1813

What good is redemption and forgiveness is to the one who murdered, let alone the one who committed the first murder?

Random Leaf #1812

"And of the elder brother,

What do you think was

in his mind after he committed

his first murder?

"If you mention envy,

I digress, that is something he felt

BEFORE

he killed his brother.

"Were his hands not shaking?

Were his eyes not showing

any form of shock?

Were his breathing not panting?

"The envy is there but I

know something is also there

and also something that suddenly

went terribly missing.

It isn't just his brother that became gone."

Random Leaf #1811

Would one be

so willingly give

up on something

for something less?

I want to

live as much

as you do,

but for that

to be, I

had to give

up my humanity.

Murder isn't something

uncommon or rather

foreign to us,

why would be

more lucid for

my first misaction?

What is different

from the first

bug I crushed

to the first

man I'll stab?

Random Leaf #1810

The hero arrived,

the villain is death.

A loud cheer roared

and gets heard.

But the hero

was not smiling.

He went down

his noble steed,

beaten bruised but alive.

He couldn't reciprocate

to wave back

and reply to

the happy thoughts

of those he saved.

He knelt to everyone

and right there and then,

he apologized.

He denied the title

of hero and savior.

He did heroic things

but he also couldn't be

a hero to everyone.

He saved many agrieving souls

But not everyone were saved.

Out of all the victories

he achieved,

it is the things he couldn't do,

save and more

that overshadowed the supposed

joyous moment.

He won the battle.

The good triumphed over evil.

But the hero felt himself defeated.

He, in his own mind, is not a hero.

Random Leaf #1809

It was all a lie. This isn't the wish that I wished for. Yet, this feels different. I'm supposed to be sad but I can't help but be glad. Is it because things have turned out to be better or is it because it's over?

Random Leaf #1808

"It's not your fault, mom."

Random Leaf #1807

Titles, names and whatever words

you call your opus,

they will all be forgotten

except

by hence whatever it is that will

make things be rememebered

by your opus.

Random Leaf #1806

I loved them. They believed in me until they started becoming aware. Once they did, I was shunned. They hated me for not making their lives better, for not making them better. But what am I supposed to do? I'm just an observer, a writer of some sort. I gave them everything that they need. I even gave them some that they want. I'm not their puppeteer, hence they have freewill. I can't control their actions. I don't get to decide how they wish to act. Though I'm grateful they do in accord to what I told them but those are just to keep them safe. I never meant them harm of any sorts. So am I the villain? Why am I the one they most hate?

If only they know I can hear and feel all their prayers, their pain, their wishes, their dreams and all sorts of things they say in their darkest of hour, maybe they could've done better.

It's their fault, not mine. This is the truth I would all my heart deny and keep in the deepest part of my very being. It is tragic I cannot make this untrue.

Random Leaf #1805

"Hey, you beat me to it. You know there's a much much much better way to go with this. Less bloodshed, more cheering and the betrayal would've been sweeter. But with you going with this and the coup being spread all across the land and even among the neighboring countries, anyone standing against you will be called heroes. In a sense, this worked out better for me. After I get your head, I'll be hailed as a hero. Maybe I can even be king. Yes, yes, this is a better outcome and it's all thanks to you."

Random Leaf #1804

There're no sins,

only unintended mistakes.

Those meant are simply

means for an end.

The end never justifies the mean.

No sinner should ever feel regret.

Random Leaf #1803

Aren't we all one and the same?

Sinners on the palm Of Our angry God.

Random Leaf #1802

With intent of straying further,

I started playing the violin,

with my wrist as the strings

and a sharp bow to resound

a beautiful harmony.

Blood soaked melodies

are more in tuned with the music

of the surrounding

and the eternity that lingers far off.

Random Leaf #1801

But what of it for me to see strings if I cannot tug them? Like a musician without his instrument, all I could is sing or hum. With all the noise and tremor the world gives, only a few and me wouldnhear of the secrets I foretell.

Random Leaf #1800

Would the devil smile with me

If I let it?

Or would the devil smile at me?

Looking through mirrors never did

let me find the answers.

Random Leaf #1799

Much like others, he has every right to cry too. He is bound for greatness; his name will one day be written among the stars; he will be among the many the world will seek to put their faith to; his poetry will one day be an anthem of a generation to come; but those thing does not mean he cannot get hurt.

Random Leaf #1798

What of the smile you

so wanted protected?

Don't you have anymore

intent to be their protector?

Were the preaches

you frequent mention

of love all lies?

Tell me,

Oh! warrior of the stories,

are you brave enough

or was everything a facáde?

Random Leaf #1797

But there will be no tragedy worth mentioning than one looking at the starts and contemplating what good hands are if the world cannot be held by ones own. The stars from the skies at night are much easier to grasp than the land we walk on.

Random Leaf #1796

"Don't forget. You're here forever."

"Do it for her."

This. This!

Random Leaf #1795

And yet that the remained,

no matter young and green,

one's uneagerness and impatience

simply closes door

than pave ways and paths.

Random Leaf #1794

They continue on

to pave my path,

onward to hell.

This is my duty,

no matter how much

disbelief I have,

this is the road

meant and carved

for me.

Random Leaf #1793

"You enjoy hurting people, don't you?"

"I don't. But if I'm ordered to be harsh then I have no choice but to obey."

"You do have a choice though."

"I do but the orders I received- I am sworn to my duty. Be it right or wrong, I have no right to judge but simply to obey."

"You know, you have a very peculiar face. Have anyone told you that?"

"My face? I have never received any comment about my face before. I always wear my mask so I doubt anyone would even know who I am."

"No, I mean, you have this feint smile you are trying to control not to exposed, something villainuous and sinister and your eyes reflects a bottomless depth of sadness. Those aren't empty, I dare say. I know tools and dolls when I see one and certainly you aren't. But you're on your way there. i just hope you keep yourself from anymore getting torn."

"What- What are you talking about?"

"Don't lose yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't lose yourself. Keep that moral compass of yours from breaking any further."

"Moral compass? What are you saying? i'm sorry but I don't understand."

"You have a choice. You can choose. Stop saying that you don't and that your duty precedes any common decency. Your duty is to yourself, to be you. Don't lose what remaining something you still have as you."

"You.. are making too many assumptions as if you know many things about me."

"Have you noticed my eyes?"

"What about the- Wait? Your eyes. You're blind?"

Random Leaf #1792

To the irredeemable:

Random Leaf #1791

Maybe

I'm

just

making

up

excuses.

Random Leaf #1790

"The plan is to sleep with no intention of waking."

"Wait- What?!"

"Aren't all beautiful dreams meant to be endless?"

"Worry not, when I wake up, you'll be the first I tell my dreams about."

Random Leaf #1789 IG

If you're willing to,

There is always a choice

for the darker side.

Orpheus is never always

A musician who went to hell

for his beloved Eurydice.

Daedalus and Icarus are

Never always ungiven a choice.

They are free to leave as pleased.

-------

If you're willing to,

there's always a choice

toward the darkness itself.

Orpheus is never always

the musician who went to hell for his beloved—

maybe—he meant to turn.

Daedalus always has a choice;

he is free to leave as he pleases—

and maybe, just maybe... he meant it.

Each and every one of them—

all of us, always—

maybe—if we really do mean it…

Random Leaf #1788

In the end,

no matter how far

or not too distant

you've gone,

only memories

are what can be keep.

Random Leaf #1787

If ever you wonder,

Yes, you are loved.

You might not know who

But there will always be someone

who does.