Random Leaf #1535

"When did you start drinking?"

"I can't remember. Perhaps it's the same time when the god of wine forgot he id also the god of good memories."

"God of good memories? Is there such a thing?"

"It's funny how no one remembers when it was he himself who made sure no one remembers."

"When did it all start?"

"Probably when he met a very wise king."

"What happened?"

"No one actually clearly remembers it. The god himself, made it so. The better question though, does the god of wine actually smile?"

"Yes, he does. Why'd you mention it?"

"The god of truth sees lies, my friend."

Random Leaf #1534

"I know. The higher you get, it gets harder to breath. The same goes for when you go low. Despite knowing, we all keep going, high or low, we push through."

"Is it because we're alive that's why we keep on going? Or is it because we're looking for something."

"Those are good answers. But not what I'm thinking of."

"What is it then?"

"We're all greedy. We are driven by this one singular, easily overshadowed trait. We may all neglect this. We may all deny this. But this is the truth."

Random Leaf #1533

"Wouldn't anyone be afraid if even the gods says they can't be saved?"

"Aren't we all in the same boat? In actuality, aren't we all unredeemable? No one of us meant to be saved. We are all sinner, in the most basic of meaning. So the fact that the need to fear of no salvation is simply irrelevant."

"There are still those who want to be saved."

"Green and hopeless. They are the ones that are first to be thrown to the flames. They deny the truth."

Random Leaf #1532

"What does despair feel?"

"Being called the greatest hero and yet when the moment arrives that your dearest and most precious friend sought for your help, you are unable to. Not because you don't want but because you can't."

Random Leaf #1531

"No! This isn't evil. I am doing this out of love."

"Let me support you."

"Support me? I thought you'd be against me?"

"Dont you want to?"

"I do but aren't you supposed against what I'll be doing."

"You said it's for love, right?"

"Yes but who would've thought that the god of love would side with one set on vengeance."

"It's for love, nothing else matter. Don't you think? For all anyone to care, if it's for love, let the world burn and fall. Love is all that matters."

"Are you not mistaken?"

"Are you not?"

Random Leaf #1530

"Have you ever thought that the hero need not be the prince charming just to save the princess?"

"An ideal taught to every foot soldiers and pawns."

Random Leaf #1529

"Revenge isn't essentially evil, you know."

"Why? I heard a saying if you act upon it, you're also burying yourself."

"True, but it isn't evil."

"How can it be not evil if it's means and end is both evil?"

"There was once a couple who were in love with each other. Then man with great authority separated them. The man got sent away. Years have passed until the man finally returned. His mind was never vent on committing vengeance until he heard of the story of what happened to his lover. He found the man who did everything to them and exacted his vengeance.

"Tell, is the revenge done because of evil or love?"

"What happened to his lover?"

Random Leaf #1528

"Now that you mentioned it. How are you sure we are puppets and not baits? You only always say there are strings movng us and you mentioned a master puppeteer who are moving us. Have it not occured to you if there is no puppeteer but actually fisherman and us as baits? Or let say, fishermen. No one fisherman could have these many baits laid out in the sea."

"Can you see the hands moving your strings or just the strings moving you?"

"I'm blind but I have faith."

"I wonder what the fishes looks like."

Random Leaf #1527

"You know, I can see a very clear path that no one has dared to thread."

"A path?"

"There are good people who does good thing for the sake of doing good, right?"

"The good people? You mean saints?"

"Yeah, let's call them that. Then there are people who does good thing for something, let say for their own objective, for their own good or what ever it is. Something conditional, that's why they must be good."

"Politicians?"

"Yes, yes. Then The bad people who does something bad for the sake of something. Be it for dignity, patriotism, love or whatever."

"Mankind in general?"

"You know, you're good in generalizing stuffs. And then bad people who does bad things for the sake of being bad."

"They.. madmen?"

"No, no. Those people we call mad are the misunderstood. They do bad things but not only for the sake of doing something bad, they have this warped notion yet they too deserve their own merit."

"Who are these people who do bad things for the sake of being bad?"

"They don't exist. Even the devil isn't someone like that."

Random Leaf #1526

"I believe they won't betray me."

"Yet you know for sure they can lie."

"It's in their nature."

"You know they can lie in front of you, more or less, they've lied from you. Not just once but one too many."

"I know."

"So how can you believe they won't betray you?"

"It's in my nature."

"At this point you're nit just too trusting. You're essentially gullible. You know they will and they can use you in whatever agenda they want."

"Have you forgotten about the blessing bestowed upon the honest man?"

"The world owes them the truth. You've said it many times."

"Much like the puppet who sees strings, I too can see them. The strings."

"You are not without strings."

"That is my nature. But my soul, much like anybody else, isn't bound to any strings."

"It doesn't change the fact that you are just a pawn to them."

"I can see the strings. And unlike the many, I have faith I can tug not just my own but others."

"You're saying-"

"I'm not the master puppeteer. I'm just one who can see and touch them."

Random Leaf #1525

"Although you took up this vow, please do know you are, nonetheless and without doubt, loved. You can deny yourself of it, but you cannot deny the love others has for you."

"How? How can they love someone like me?"

"There are many kinds of love, with conditions and without. And to them, you meet the conditions they set or perhaps they just love you unconditionally. This is perpetual."

"How can you sound so sure?"

"The same way I am certain of the many uncertainties this many worlds we live in."

"And?"

"You don't have to get it, you just have to believe it."

Random Leaf #1524

"I'm afraid of death. Yet, when all alone and my thoughts are all that I have. I am having this welcoming sense of wanting to die. I don't know why. It must be regrets. I like regression stories. Maybe it's one of the reasons why I want to, you know, go and be done with things. I like isekai stories too. But the way things are, I doubt if there will be any god or goddess would grant me passage to another world. I'm greatly hopeless.

"I read of having this same feeling of not actually wanting to die but simply being inexisting. Getting strangely spirited away. Being forgotten. I'm afraid of pain. Maybe that's the reason why when I think of dying, I can't help but also think I'm going to hell. I've never been a good person. I try to but if we base things on morality, I am not someone who does things for kindness sake. I have my own motive. Most of the time, I just want to be playful. Some other time, I just want to see the world burn. Truth be told, I am evil. And as we all know, evil people do go to hell. And I'm pretty, I know where I'm going. I sometimes talk about it with other, I accept it where I'm going. But I'm very much afraid of getting hurt. And hell is, based on what I've read, will be a world filled with pain and hurt. Or am I actually in hell right now?

"Honestly, I hate being alone with my thoughts yet I feel more comfortable being by myself. There's no one to disagree with me and my thoughts on its own will formulate scripts and dialogues to further my own thoughts. Half of the time, I get to only getting on one side. Half, I get to see the other side.

"I want to die. Yet I don't want to. I'm what people would say, paradoxical, right? I hate it."

"No, you're just very lonely. That's all."

Random Leaf #1523

"Is the actually a different in saying, I'm sorry I can't save you and I'm sorry I couldn't save you?"

"In both cases, she dies anyway, right?"

"That just.. you know.. Sometimes you can be hurtful without meaning it."

"Actually, no. Right now, I want you to hurt."

"Huh? Why?"

"You reminded me something I shouldn't.. I should've forgotten. I hate you for that."

Random Leaf #1522

"And so even the evil showed mercy. They never tortured those who wronged them. They give them quick death and that's it. Sometimes when I saw one of their killings, I can clearly see in their eyes the dislike of their action. They show disgust in their face yet it's apparent untowards their foes. After the deed, they'd always and without fail, look at their hands. aafter thoroughly and repeatedly try to clean their hands from their own self imposed impurities.

"They know themselves they're the villains. They know themselves what they're doing isn't something grand like doing a holy mission or something. They weren't told told. They know what they're doing are misdeeds and the sins they commit will just keep on piling. They won't be forgiven nor are those who they know are saving."

"They're a lost cause, is that what you're saying?"

"We all are."

Random Leaf #1521

"You're living in many worlds again."

"I.. my head hurts. I can't help it. The worlds are calling out to me."

"So, what did you dream about this time?"

"I woke up thrice earlier. My first dream is of me trying to calm a royal princess who's family have just been killed from a bomb blast."

"So, how did it go?"

"She started crying and panicking. I'm trying what I know I could do when dealing with children."

"You spoil children too much. So what happened?"

"I'm trying act cool and calm. I also want to panic but I need to take care of the child first."

"Who's this child to you?"

"I don't know. I don't know her. I just know she started trusting me and that I must protect her."

"Did you calm her down?"

"I abandoned her."

"Abandoned her?"

"I suddenly woke up. I left her their in the ruins, all alone and crying. I wanted to go back so once again I went back to sleep."

"Did you find her?"

"Nope, but I dreamt a different dream."

"What is it about?"

"Trains, foreign land, my few companions, my distant but kind relatives and me meeting the pope."

"Trains?"

"Yeah, it was all weird. We're walking in a shopping mall of some sort and then I met my relativea, they were very kind. But I had to leave them, I have to be elsewhere. Then we walked or rather rushed around the mall until we find the trains. It was very confusing. When I got to the carriage, I found out it was like a theme park ride. I have my companions with me."

"Then what happened?"

"We took out seats, I buckled my seatbelt on and the ride began to move forward."

"What did you see?"

"I can't remember much of the scenery, my mind is fixated on the locomotors, gears and the parts of the train and the tracks."

"Were you scared? Or were you excited?"

"About the ride? I don't know, I guess I was excited or something. The gears and parts of the trains were amazingly moving in unison."

"So what happened next?"

"At the end of the tracks we entered a giant gate. I can't clearly remember what was written on the sign outside of it. Something like, village of something, ir whatever. But I know for a fact that behind the gate is the pope waiting for me."

"So did you meet with the pope?"

"I didn't. I woke up."

"What was in your mind after waking up for a second time?"

"I think it was still with the little princess from my first dream."

"The next thing you did is-"

"I, once again, went back to sleep. When I wake up, as if nothing happened. I slept a dreamless sleep for my third time."

Random Leaf #1520

"Yet one still wish she was saved. Doesn't matter if the world turned against me. It may hurt a little if I chance upon her on the opposite side. But it doesn't matter. Let the whole world persecute me. May my name be just among the numbers of villains easily left unremembered by time. I don't care about anything else, I just want her to be safe. I just want her to be alive. I just want to see her smile. I just want to see her, maybe for just one last time."

"Such wishful thoughts for the devil."

"Can't I have just a bit of this.. what do you call it.. hope? Can't I just have a bit of this.. something. I just want her happy. That's all I want."

"With this thoughts of yours. Are you sure you're a evil?"

"The blood on my hand and on the path I walked on are enough proof."

"If that's how it is, I guess, I could say the devil is an angel once."

"That is until I fell."