Random Leaf #1686

"Please, Lord. Help me get one more. Help me get one more. Please, Lord. One more. Help me get one more." - Private Doss, Hacksaw Ridge. (Along that lines..)

Yet I couldn't stop thinking about scene of the crucifixion.

Random Leaf #1685

You've been

so used

to being

used all

your life

that you

don't know

how to

react to

simple gestures

of kindness.

You don't

need to

feel indebted.

Know too

you have

every right

to also

be loved.

You can

be loved.

You can

be loved.

Random Leaf #1684

Count how many times your good deeds made you smile.

Random Leaf #1683

In the woods

I tried screaming.

And all I could hear

are trees falling.

And no one else

to take notice.

Was I, on the top

of my lungs, screaming?

Or were there any trees

that are actually falling?

Random Leaf #1682

In the name of God and justice

or in the name of some nameless girl.

Which of these two is said

to justify more killings?

Random Leaf #1681

The singer musician learnt dance

To let his deaf audience see

The beat of his music.

Random Leaf #1680

"And what is this anchor you mentioned?"

"Isn't it obvious? The main character is just that so powerful that even the author would have a hard time how to defeat him."

"Author, you say?"

"No, I.. I mean, someone who is of great power that the author makes won't even rival the main character."

"Go on."

"This ancor I'm talking about is something like a weakness or maybe not a weakness but something that holds the main character down from becoming too powerful or rather going off track."

"Not a weakness but a weakness, and something that keeps the main character go off track."

"As the word itself, anchor, it holds him to his believe, of some sort, and when he is about to do something beyond what seemed to be his own definition of what's right but is still right, he wavers himself. He stops and tells himself, wait this isn't right, drops his sword and rethinks for a better action. Or if he had already done it, this certain anchor will either haunt him to turn himself in or to make himself better."

"Mind telling me an example?"

"The sister of the greatest son of Britania. The code of a certain vigilante in a far off city of crime. A new way of life of a sinner atoning for his sins. The mother of a child dreaming to be a hero. The son of the same child who dreamt of becoming a hero and became one. A hero's precious friends and dearly loved ones. There are many more and these anchors can be a person, a thing, a pet, an animal, some sort of principle or code, whatever it is, this anchor holds the character in place than going outside his actual role."

"A ship's role is to travel. Carry things or people, from place to another. If that is the anchor you mean it, then, what's their purpose, this character you are mentioning?"

"That is true. The sea takes on ship to far off places and so does the story. These anchors are there, sad to say, to be taken off so the story can go on and character gets develop."

"Doesn't that just mean the characters will be placed in great turmoil and grief when these anchors are removed. What more of the anchor of the main characters?"

"The hero becomes the villain. If the anchor weight just so much and he gets freed from it. Or if he can overcome this certain event then he develops for the better. A character can have multiple anchor throughout his story."

Random Leaf #1679

And they didn't even bothered

Asking me my name.

It's a given I'm just footsoldier,

A pawn, a number among the count,

But don't any have this common decency,

At the very least,

To ask someone who they are talking to?

I am no machine.

I have a soul too.

But in this day and age,

A simple conversation is enough,

at the very least,

To know one is still living.

Random Leaf #1678

"I believe in the injustice this world we live in."

"You mean justice, right?"

Random Leaf #1677

And you know why

I have mixed feelings about her?

Don't say that I'm in love with her,

that's the short and simple answer,

I'm conflicted about it,

it's the truth though

I can't say it is the whole truth.

Let me say this with a

Breath held with secrets,

In some reality,

In some far off universe,

Truth is,

In one of those distant place,

I killed her.

It isn't me, me,

but it is me but not me.

Which is why I am

conflicted.

Don't ask me if in another

I married her,

because I actually did.

Obviously.

But there are two me's

that I saw.

Of course,

the place I married her

isn't just one,

or two.

I only saw two of them.

One is where we're struggling.

The other is wherr we're living our dreams.

Odd enough,

In those three instances

I mentioned,

twice I married her

and another I took her life,

in all those times,

the many she's,

that isn't her, obviously,

is actually smiling.

It wasn't even a forced one at that.

It was not a facade.

It was a genuine smile.

Random Leaf #1676

I don't to die.

I don't want her to die.

I don't want to get hurt.

I don't want her to get hurt.

I don't want to cry.

I don't want her to cry.

I want her to save me.

I want to save her.

Random Leaf #1675

The sand castle he helped built

Gets torn down by the fate and ebb

Of the constant tide.

All the times spent wasted

On that exact golden hour by the sea.

He can do nothing but watch.

Random Leaf #1674

"This is the happy ending I- we deserve, you deserve. I love you. I love you more than anything else. I would not care whatever happens to this world. Let this world burn if it has too. You're the only- W-w-why- You aren't happy? You deserve so much more. This world doesn't deserve you. That sadness in your eyes. Why?"

"This is not your end."

"W-w-what?"

Random Leaf #1673

The villain is the hero in their story.

Random Leaf #1672

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Say what?"

"That you're a bad guy."

"Duh? Doesn't these horns amd wings already give it away?"

"But.. but you're not a bad guy."

".. To you what, here's the truth. I'm saying I am, in case I suddenly, you know, turn evil or something in the next few days, months or years."

"But that's just a lie, isn't it? A silly prank that you always playfully tell everyone."

"You shouldn't be too trustful of guys with horns."

"B-but that isn't you. You're a good guy. A kind person. If you keep telling us that, you're giving us this conflicting feeling."

"Oh! Don't be. I want you to be aware. And first of all, I want you not to trust me. It is in my nature to be deceitful."

"With how you treat us and how all of us can say nothing but goodness about you, you're just playing this childish prank on us, right? Right?"

"I'm the devil, the enemy, the villain of.. of everyone; of this world. How do you supposed I scheme without first tricking the world?"

"But that isn't just you. You're not an enemy. You aren't the villain. You're a friend of everyone; of this world. You aren't evil."

"Then I've succeeded."

"You telling everyone to be wary of you and goes on to elaborate you're the devil, is it.."

"Part of my plan."

"You're evil if you say that."

"Then how should I-"

"If you're the devil and the enemy of this world, so be it. The world doesn't need a hero if you're here."

"What?"

Random Leaf #1671

"The ones I cannot save, are the voices inside my head."

"How many times have you heard your voice echo?"

Random Leaf #1670

"If the world needs a villain, I can be one."

"But we already have one enemy, what we need is a king to rule and guide us all."

"You call that an enemy? Such nuisance isn't even worth it. If you're asking me to rule and be your king, I'll have to pass on to that. I'm not meant for such small task. But as for a guide, it is better for a villain to be one. I'll help you but it has to be on my way."

"Your words are confusing."

"I will not heal your wounds, I'll pour salt over it. I will make it hurt. But you will heal. You will definitely heal but not without pain. I will be your guide, your mentor. But I will be strict; I will be harsh; I will be cruel. You will call me evil. But that's just how I want to be. I am the enemy after all."

"You want to be some sort of like an anti hero?"

"Heroes wear capes and have to hide behind facades. Antiheroes have tragic stories, refuses to be hailed good though they want to be good. That isn't for me. I will teach you how to great but you have to kill me. That's just how things must go if you want me to guide your to greatness. I will make you walk on broken glasses and through thorny bush, just so you would get here; get to me. I am the necessary evil."

"An antihero-"

Random Leaf #1669

"And here I thought I'm saving her. That I'm that one person, the only person who truly understood. I always thought I'm the hero of her story. I never realized, I've become the villain. I wanted her to be happy. I noticed her every efforts, down tobthe most simple and even the trivial things she does. I thought I understand her."

"What happened?"

"I killed her."

"..."

"I killed her with this kindness I forcefully imposed on her. I am the hero who betrayed her. I am the villain of her story. I am her murderer."

Random Leaf #1668

Tell me, one who calls himself hero,

in your story, are you really the hero?

Random Leaf #1667

"It's alright, is what I wanted to say. I knew it from the start that it will hurt but I didn't know it would really hurt this much."

"So that's how you're in love with her, right?"

"I supposed so but, man.. This aching feeling, I don't know for long I could bear this. I love her but I'm not the one for her."

"And who are you to decide that?"

"I love her enough to know what's good for her. And I know for certain I am not good for her."

"That's how you see it but is that how she sees it?"

"I.. knowing her, I know for sure she'd choose me. Or did I made her liked me so much?"

"Isn't that basically how relationship work?"

"But I'm certain I'm not good for her."

"To tell you the truth, you knowing what's good or best for her is also how relationship work."

"So you're saying, I should break up with her?"

"No! I'm saying to be better."

"I am trying."

"Then you're on the right track."

"How can you say that when I'm trying but nothing's happening? Nothing's changing, I'm not getting better."

"Is what you thought, but what does she think?"

Random Leaf #1666

One day, you will hear whispers that will make your eyes well up in tears. It could be emotional or enlightening but whatever these voice tell you, listen well and listen good. They are hints of both the ast and what's to come. These few things can be easily be mentioned trivial but know they aren't.

Random Leaf #1665

Right, there and then,

The raging monster seemed

like a god to her.

It was the destined prophecy,

She was meant to slay god.

And there she was fulfilling it.

Random Leaf #1664

It's not your fault, ma!

The world needed a hero,

And you raised one.

It's not your fault, ma!

It's not your fault.

The world need me.

Random Leaf #1663

No!

It isn't a jumbled mesh.

He did

it

out of his heart.

At that moment,

he

was just happy.

Can't you hear it?

A heart struck with love.

He is

overjoyed.

And this melody

h

e

made

just

it

echoed,

heard, whispered, sung.

He is in love.

Know this!

He is

in

love!

Random Leaf #1662

"You know, I never did mention this, but I'm aware of it."

"What?"

"I mean, I know what's going on but with how things are going right now, you know. I just can't be like.. how do I put it. I feel like.. I don't feel like being happy and all if things are like this."

"Wait, wait, wait. You're aware of what?"

"You know, or maybe I just assumed it. But that can't be right, right? I saw the signs, the changes in the habits and all. I saw it all. If you're trying to hide it, you no longer need to. I already know. But if I'm wrong, well, this isn't the first time my gut feelings aren't correct."

"Oh! You found out."

"Yeah, I guess so. And with what you just said, it's really confirmed."

"But to begin with, you aren't blood related and all."

"What? Of course, we aren't. We're employer, employee related. I'm her boss and she's my lovely secretary. Nothing more."

"Then the way she did all those things."

"Yeah, at first I thought that's just how she is. None of the previous secretaries were like that even from when father was still the owner."

"But, you seemed like you were unaware of it."

"Yeah, I guess, that's my fault. I don't know how to react to it so the best thing that I thought is to be nonchalant about it and pay it little attention or none at all."

"But, but, you know she's in love with you."

"Yes."

"And you know you aren't related by blood."

"Yes, wait, what? Why do you keep saying that?!"

Random Leaf #1661

"Those are.."

"No! It's not what you think!"

"What else is it then? Gosh! You should stop with this none sense. Why are you even doing these? Ah! Don't go hurting yourself. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"But this aren't-"

"So who is it this time? Was it another girl? Did you fight with your dad?"

"But Gini.."

"Don't go hurting yourself, you hear me, Pino."

Random Leaf #1660

Puppets made unaware!

Those aren't threads

meant to be guides.

They are shackles!

Woods, metals carved out

to form faces and limbs,

They are more than that!

If only they knew.

If only they knew.

Random Leaf #1659

"What good does it do? You know it yourself, that is poison you're drinking."

"This is poison? I, actually, didn't know."

"Stop it with the sarcasm! You're.. you're killing yourself. Stop it!"

"Kill myself? How can you-"

"You can't bring her back. Even if.. Even if you're doing that to yourself. You can't bring her back."

"And me not killing myself will bring her back. Please tell me that's the truth. Or no matter whether I die or not, either way, she won't be coming back. I already know that, kind one."

"It's not your fau-"

"Oh! You stop it with that line. That's what she used to say to me but you saying or heck! You reminding me about it won't change anything. She is never coming back."

"It's not your-"

"Yes! I'm not to be blamed! The world is."

"But why?"

"Oh! You mean this? It's funny but I never got to tell this to anyone. There was one time when all the world is still filled with colors and worth. When she was.. Whem she was still by my side. There was this one time that kept on coming back to my mind. Some sort of an echo that kept on telling me, reminding. And I can never forget this. She meant the world to me and she did say to me that I, too, is her world."

"What?"

"The world is to be blamed. Not me. And with this, I know for sure, I'll get my vengeance."

"No!"

Random Leaf #1658

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall in.. oops.

Just sort of happened.

I guess?

Random Leaf #1657

If you think about,

It's an everyday normal things.

But to me, it isn't.

You're that one sin I must never commit.

Don't say it's love.

It isn't, is it not?

Random Leaf #1656

And to think, in your times of troubles, the only one who'd actually believe you, no questions ask, is your enemy.

Random Leaf #1655

"I keep basking on the same light. And each time I do, I'm hopeful I'd get to see something different."

Random Leaf #1654

He knew right from the start

the red flags and bad news coming.

But he made himself seemed unaware.

It is

his sin,

His flaw.

Even though

it hurts,

He cannot

stop himself

from being

in love.

Random Leaf #1653

"These few words of a prayer you said from your heart. Do you actually believe Our Lord would listen to them?"

"I.. I'm no believer. I have no faith. I admit, there was once a time I was, but after everything that happened, I stopped. Not just that, I even went on to renounce His name. I cursed His name, if you'd believe me. I know how evil a sinner I am but that's just I am. I grew tired of the.. problems.. of the trials I was faced with. Until then I met her."

"This girl. Did she put you back on track?"

"She.. she saved me. Please, don't tell me this is another trial. I.. I can't anymore. Maybe if I'm with her, I think, I think we could. But.. but if she's.. she's.. How cruel.. I can't anymore. How cruel can this world be? And if there really is a God, how cruel can He be to me. I.. I just want to be happy. And.. and, and.. once more. I can't. If this is another trial.. please, just not like this. Not like this."

"Have faith-"

"No! I mean, yes, if that's what it would take to save her. I have to believe, right? A miracle will happen, right? Right? She'll be cured the next day, right? Right? Everything's going back to normal the next day, right? Right? Please, tell me that's how things will be if I have faith. If I believe. Please, say it. Give me assurance. Just say it. She will be save, right? Right? Our lord god will not let his faithful children face trials they are not meant to overcome, right? Right?"

"I.. I-"

"Please, just say that thing will go back to normal afterward. She be smiling once more and I can hear her voice calling out my name once again. Please. Please. Say that it so. Say it that a miracle will happen. She'll be saved, right? Right?"

"Just have faith. Our Lord will listen."

".. The more you say it, the more you make me. Okay, I'll believe. I'll have faith once more. If that's what it would take."

Random Leaf #1652

If there really is a god.

Please, please, please,

save her.

Please save her.

I don't care anymore

what happens in the hereafter

just please,

save her.

Random Leaf #1651

The world may hate you. The world may keep a grudge. The world may not even forgive you. But know that you're allowed to forgive yourself. You know yourself that it isn't the even least you could do. So please, forgive yourself.

Random Leaf #1650

He paid in full the debt I owe.

Random Leaf #1649

My heart

wasn't as

effective as

it used

to be.

The beat

is there,

I know,

but there

is something

not right.

I am

but at

the same

I'm not.

My heart,

it aches,

but just

not the

right rhythm.

I think

I am

I'm not.

Random Leaf #1648

If you cannot write a story,

Be at least, an inspiration.

If that still is too much,

Please save at least

One soul.

Random Leaf #1647

A love so great,

That even illusions

demand themselves

be awaken.

Random Leaf #1646

"Oh! Thank god! The guards are here. We're safe now."

"Come close. Listen. You aren't safe here."

"What?"

"You need to get out. You need to get out now. You hear me? Don't stay here. Don't go here. It's not safe. Leave. Go. Now."

"But after all we've been through. You- you don't understand. We need to-"

"This is not a safe please."

Random Leaf #1645

Here's a message for my 10 years old self:

Save me!

Do things you actually want to do.

Own up to your mistakes. Learn!

Not gonna lie, lying has its own perks too.

Try to keep up with your connections.

Go out more but remember to live.

Own up to things you know is right.

Have proper conversations. Speak!

Ever thought of writing? Start now. Dream.

Remember your roots, with honor and love.

Enjoy life but stay humble.

Save yourself.

Dream! Write! Live!

Oh! Don't forget to play games too.

Not all path is straight. Find your own.

Outside is another world, a universe!

There is another one within you.

Get up and notice the miracles.

On the way here, remember to look back.

Have the common decency to pray,

Even for the worse one, they are once

Righteous. Learn to see beyond.

End it with a bang. Shout if you have to.

Random Leaf #1644

I wanted my art to flourish but the world is blind.

Random Leaf #1643

I want her to be hapyy.

I want her to smlie.

And not just fake happy

And definitely not smiles

Forced and worn over.

I want her to be genuinely happy.

I want her to make genuine smiles.

I genuinely,

Genuinely,

Genuinely,

Want her.

I want her.

So,

I

Geniunely,

Genienuly,

Geninuely

Cna't have her.

Random Leaf #1642

Anything but that.

Random Leaf #1641

The gods,

in truth,

digustingly,

hate these.

But what simply

the faithfuls can do

but pray?

Random Leaf #1640

"They carved their truth on her skin, seems to be normal to any tattoo artist. What more is, I think it's what she deserved for she did to them."

"She stabbed them."

"Yeah, well, it can be ruled as self defense."

"The autopsy showed it was she who stabbed them first. And the tattoo artist you mentioned, she tried cutting her arm just for her to break free from the strangulation she was held. And when the tattok artist passed out, yeah, she somehow survived that monstrous grip, miraculously. Do you know what happened? She gets stabbed. How is that self defense?"

"Well, at least she got cut her arm."

"Yeah, but then she also die. You know what her death was? It isn't from the stab wound she has on her get, she died from blood loss when her eyes continued bleeding. Oh! Sorry, not eyes, I meant, her eye sockets. The girl you meant to act in self defense, gauged out the eyes of the tattoo artist. So much for defense."

"She also bled, is that nothing?"

"The self defense girl lived. And it's just the tattoo artist that got killed and their eyes gauged out, everyone in the shop got stabbed multiple times and their eyes either plucked out or pushed inward. Our, or rather, your self defense girl has a thing for eyes."

"..."

"And you're saying, after that massacre that happened, it was all an act of self defense?"

"She did mentioned that her eyes itchy the morning she woke up that day."

"A massacre happened, Johnny. A freaking massacre."

Random Leaf #1639 IG

"No, it wasn't like they betrayed her."

"What? Then what am I, what are we supposed to call this, this, this whatever that happened to her?"

"She knew it was coming."

"What?"

"Yeah, she knew it right from the start."

"Wha- How?"

"Her father already warned her about it."

"What?"

"Well, it was just from his, you know, speculation, gut feeling what you call it. He has eyes for this. He just know."

"If he knew about it then why didn't he stop her, stop them?"

"Oh, believe me, he did."

"Then why?"

"He couldn't."

"The changer of tides. That's the monicker he's given, you know that, right? You know, it's not just nickname, right? That's just how great her fa-"

"To her, the changer of tides is just another ripple. You know how soft he is to his daughter, right?"

"But why didn't sav-"

"He did. But it was her choice."

"What?"

"He came for her but she stopped him. You know the saying the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree, right? At that moment, she became like the changer of tides himself."

"You mean to say-"

"Oh! You have got to be blind to not notice why the changer of tides is deliberately hiding his left wrist and that long sleeve coat he's now wearing, right?"

"What? Wait! What? You mean to say-"

"Among all things that actually tried to hurt him, the changer of tides, his daughter alone was able to put a real dent in him. She could really hurt him."

"You're saying, she's the bane of the changer of tides?"

"Yes."

"Okay, okay, I get what you're saying but that isn't what why you're here. I'll put a note about that and try to have my men look through it. But you know, why you're here, right?"

"They took her. Or more like she went with them."

"Went with them?"

"How. Why?"

"There is something wrong with her. She's just like her father, alright. And just the way how he handled her father, it's just crazy. She's crazy. It was like she's no longer his daughter when he lashed out at him."

"Is it like the berserker's spirit?"

"No, it's more like an actual war god is possessing her."

"A war god? That doesn't make any sense. If that's the truth then how come is the changer still alive?"

"That's just it. The crazy thing about her. She stopped and somehow whispered something to the changer before leaving."

"You serious? So after getting beaten, the changer really let her-"

"He was frozen after the thrashing and that, you know, whatever she whispered to him."

"How did you know she whispered to him?"

"I heard mumble something."

"Is there anything you could remember?"

"I don't know it was so quiet."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you know I was also beaten up, right?"

"I can clearly see that. This is odd. Very odd. If what you're saying is true, I mean it checks out. The changer of tides is currently the pinnacle of humanity. He's the first one to transcend and nothing man made nor human nor anything known lesser being could hurt him. So how did the chang-"

"Wait, I think I remember something. Long gun, I think?"

"Long gun? Longgan? The fruit?"

"No, not long gun, wait. Long gun, lone gun, long god. Wait that's not it. Long god, Alone gun, alone god"

"Alone god?"

"Yes, that's right. Alone god and then something, something."

"Alone god or a lone god. Which is it?"

"I don't know that's just what I could make hardly make out. I'm also beaten, here, remember? Give me a slack."

"Alone god. Doesn't really ring a bell for me."

"Yeah, me neither. But as I said, after that whisper, the changer is frozen. More like mortified. If anything, his face was priceless. It was so unbelievably refreshing to see his face like that. To the point it was funny. But please don't mention I said that."

"Alone God. I'm going to have my men look that up as well."

"So, what, am I free to go now?"

"You said you saw something that the changer did that is unbecoming to his title, right?"

"Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I can clearly see his face. It was really funny."

"Oh, boy. The chief wouldn't really want anything to get out that could potentially harm or besmirch his name."

"What? Wait, what do you mean chief?"

"You know what I mean, right?"

"Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean chief?"

"This is just part of the protocol. No hard, feeling, alright?"

"No, no, no! Wait!"

-----

A: No, it wasn’t like they betrayed her.

B: What? Then what are we supposed to call this—this… whatever happened to her?

A: She knew it was coming.

B: What?

A: Yeah. She knew it right from the start.

B: Wha—How?

A: Her father already warned her.

B: What?

A: Well… it was just his gut feeling, speculation—you know how he is. He has eyes for these things. He just knows.

B: If he knew, then why didn’t he stop her? Stop them?

A: Oh, believe me—he tried.

B: Then why?

A: He couldn’t.

B: The Changer of Tides. That’s his moniker—you know that, right? It’s not just a nickname! That’s how great her fa—

A: To her, the Changer of Tides is just another ripple. You know how soft he is with his daughter.

B: But why didn’t he save—

A: He did. But it was her choice.

B: What?

A: He came for her… but she stopped him. You know the saying—the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, right? At that moment, she became like him.

B: You mean to say—

A: Oh, come on. You’ve got to be blind not to notice why the Changer hides his left wrist with that long-sleeved coat.

B: What? Wait—what? You mean to say—

A: Among all the things that tried to hurt him, she alone managed to put a real dent in him. She could really hurt him.

B: You’re saying… she’s the bane of the Changer of Tides?

A: Yes.

B: Okay, okay, I get what you’re saying—but that’s not why you’re here. I’ll note that and have my men look into it. You do know why you’re here, right?

A: They took her. Or… more like she went with them.

B: Went with them? How? Why?

A: There’s something wrong with her. She’s just like her father. And the way she handled him—it’s insane. She’s… crazy. It was like she wasn’t his daughter anymore when she lashed out at him.

B: Is it like the Berserker’s Spirit?

A: No. It’s more like an actual war god possessing her.

B: A war god? That doesn’t make sense. If that’s true, then how is the Changer still alive?

A: That’s the crazy part. She stopped. Whispered something to him before leaving.

B: You’re serious? After all that, the Changer let her go?

A: He froze—after the beating, after that whisper, whatever it was.

B: How do you know she whispered something?

A: I heard her mumble.

B: Anything you remember?

A: I don’t know. It was too quiet.

B: Really?

A: Yeah. You saw I was beaten up too, right?

B: I can see that clearly… This is odd. Very odd. If what you’re saying is true—it checks out. The Changer of Tides is the pinnacle of humanity. First to transcend. Nothing human or man-made could hurt him. So how did the Chang—

A: Wait. I think I remember something. Long gun, I think?

B: Longgun? The fruit?

A: No, not longan! Wait… long gun, lone gun, long god—no, that’s not it… long god, alone gun, alone god.

B: Alone God?

A: Yes. That’s it. Alone God… and then something else I couldn’t catch.

B: Alone God or a lone god—which is it?

A: I don’t know. That’s just what I heard. Give me a break—I’m half-dead here.

B: Alone God. Doesn’t ring a bell.

A: Yeah… me neither. But after that whisper, the Changer froze. Mortified. His face—priceless. Honestly, refreshing to see him like that. Funny, even. But don’t tell anyone I said that.

B: Alone God… I’ll have my men look it up too.

A: So… what? Am I free to go now?

B: You said you saw something the Changer did that’s unbecoming of his title, right?

A: Yeah. His face—it was really funny.

B: Oh boy… the Chief won’t want anything getting out that could harm his name.

A: What? Wait—what do you mean, Chief?

B: You know what I mean.

A: Wait, wait, wait—what do you mean, Chief?!

B: Just part of protocol. No hard feelings, alright?

A: No—no, no! Wait—!

Random Leaf #1638

I know it's too selfish of me but I can't go on making villains out of you. You are all good people and better still I know you're all genuine. Despite my decisions to be someone else, to be something else, you guys wants to stick close to me. It's not like I can you offer anything, anymore, but even still you are without prejudice, and on your own desire, wants to join me. Thank you.

But I can't have that. I can't have you guys do these things I will do for my selfish whims. You have your own things going with you. I know things are getting better for you guys but I know you're not there yet. So I hope you keep up with the things you guys are doing.

I can't have you go down to hell with me when you're on your way up there. Good luck and may next time we meet, we see each others with a smile in our eyes.

Random Leaf #1637

Yet we are all without doubt

Getting closer to our end

And even further from the ever-

changing and fleeting dreams

we always once had, have, could have.

We are easily unsatisfied

Yet yearn for something we

May one day call our own legacy.

No one can deny this.

Even shepherds who guide their own

flock of fleece and meat

Dream upon the same changing sky.

Out of all the ephemeral constants,

Only he who lives dreams.

Only he who dreams lives.

Random Leaf #1636

"That's a knife!"

"I saved them!!"

"You're holding a knife and it's soaked in blood. Blood is dripping from it's tip to your hand holding it to the end of it's hilt. That is a knife!"

"I saved them!!"

"They believed in you."

"And I saved them!"

"You are holding a knife!!"

"I saved them."

"For pete's sake, there were children with them. They all.. They all.. How- Wha.."

"I saved them with this! I saved them."

"You are holding a knife!!"

"I.. I- There is no other other way."

"But there is!"

"No! That's the only way I could save them."

"THAT IS A KNIFE THAT YOU ARE HOLDING!"

"I saved them."

Random Leaf #1635

"Hey! What took you so long to open?"

"Good evening, why are here at this hour."

"That, give me that."

"This meat here?"

"Yes, give it to me."

"..."

"..."

"I thought that we're fri.. in the end. He's just like anyone else."

"Hurry up. I need to take a shut eyes after this."

"Okay, okay. Just hold on a bit."

"... Give me."

"Hey, is that blood on your shirt?"

"This meat is just compensation of what just happened. This is a fair deal to both you and I if yoi're going to ask me. Go back to sleep and don't remember any of this tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay. Goodnight."

"..."

"Those are blood on his shirt, and they looked fresh too. What on Earth did he do?"

Random Leaf #1634 IG

"Have you ever thought of giving up?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on. With the way things are going. Don't you think, maybe, you know, at this point, maybe, you're not actually cut out for this?"

"Oh. That.. that haven't crossed my mind for a while now. I think a few years ago it did."

"What?"

"Yes, I thought of giving up once."

"So why are you still here?"

"It's a bit of a funny and embarrassing story, actually. You know I'm not great when, you know, when things actually need actions and such. I told myself I'm quitting after the last mission, assignment? I think. And you know, quitting isn't something you just up and go. You need to tell your superiors about it first or at the very least, a senior. At that time, the captain wasn't the captain yet, we're the same no body as those in the back quarters. The captain was the senior in charge of me back then, and I think he still is until now.-"

"Get to the point, why are you still here?"

"He told me that it doesn't matter how others think or how I think about myself. Yes, I know, the captain's quite the self centered person, right? So he goes on to tell that, it doesn't matter because how negatively I look at myself or how other does, what matter is to people who cares that I'm here."

"I.. I don't.. what? I don't understand."

"Basically he's saying it matters to him that I was here, that I'm here. No matter how inferior skills are or how little I can contribute to our squad, I think he's saying he's thankful I'm here."

"What? The captain? The captain said that?"

"Not word by word but that's how I interpreted it. So here I am. Still beside him or rather now, under his wings, under his command."

"Hard to believe. This is in a romantic way or something?"

"I don't know. Maybe? We have Arthur there who we also go way back but the captain doesn't treat him differently compared to others. Maybe the captain's in love with me?"

"Isn't he like married?"

"He is?"

"He's got that ring on his necklace. Doesn't that symbolize anything?"

"Oh, you mean that ring he wears. I gave that to him, I think."

"What? Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, we've lost track here. I was trying to make you leave the squad but now I feel like-"

"What? Leave the squad? Why would I?"

"Not going to lie but your skills aren't up to par. If you get what I mean."

"Oh, yeah, I get you. This is looking out for me or just because, you know, I'm dragging the team down?"

"At this point, I really don't want to lie to you. Yes on those two accounts."

"Hurts a bit but that's the truth. But my answer's no."

"What? Why?"

"I know I'm just a baggage to everyone at this point but I won't quit."

"Some of the members in our squad would agree with me with you leaving, you know that?"

"I know."

"What?"

"So are they like, harassing you or something?"

"Not really. I told this to the captain, you know."

"Really? What did he do?"

"He said he'd do something about it but things just got not as hard as before I told the captain about it."

"What?"

"Before, the squad members were going too physical about it, I even got injured once. The captain was most concerned, I think. He personally carried me to the infirmary once."

"What? When?"

"Way back before when the captain is not yet the captain of the squad. He knows about my situation but since we're all the same rank he couldn't do much but comfort me and stay by my side. He'd protect me but since we're all in the same rank, despite having strength as the way to determine respect, when the captain's not around, I'd get bullied."

"What? So back then you're like sweethearts or something."

"Sort of. I think? Now that you mentioned it, I think we were."

"What? Wait a minute. I'm not harassing or bullying you, alright? So in any case, please don't tell the captain about me."

"Oh, the thing is. When the captain became the captain, the physical bullying stopped but insults and verbal abuses, it's still there."

"What?"

"The thing is, he actually said it to me when he became captain."

"What?"

"For me to quit and just stay in the city or the country side where it's safer."

"What? Wait, wait, wait, hold on just a minute. Wasn't he protecting and enco- Oh, oh."

"He said I'm not good for the squad and I'm just dragging everyone down."

"Seriously, what? I thought, you know, he wants you to settle down as in marrying him or something."

"That's what he said. He told me to leave and quit, find love and settle down."

"What?"

"Then I told him I want to stay by his side, no matter what."

"So you mean like, you propose to the captain?"

"Propose? Propose as in get married?"

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't the one who proposed. It was him."

"What? I'm confused. Seriously, what?"

"After our conversation about me quitting, it was days or a week I think before we spoke with each other. And during those days and weeks, things were really were weird. The people in the squad were very polite with me, supportive of me even. Yeah, the mean people against me were acting kind. It was so strange. It was as if I was the second in command or something. It felt a bit awkward the way things were going so I tried looking for the captain and have a private talk with him. Funny thing is, for those few days or so, I couldn't get a hold of the captain. As if he was deliberately avoiding me."

"Wh.. what does the captain's looks like when he sees you?"

"I think it's the same way as he does when we first met here."

"What?"

"So, anyway, when I got a hold of him. It was him who proposed."

"Why am I only hearing this now?"

"Well, you just recently joined the squad so it isn't much of a big deal."

"Not a big deal? The captain is a big deal so this.. this thing going on between you is not not a big deal."

"I told him I don't-"

"Wait, what? You rejected the captain?"

"No, silly. Let me finish. I told him I don't know what to say. He handed me the ring and said I should keep it. If I do not take it as an engagement ring or something, I should just take it as a gift from him."

"And? Where's the ring?"

"I gave it back."

"What? So you really rejected the captain. Oh! Man! So how did the captain react?"

"When I handed it back his stern and serious face started to crumple. He looks face looks so cute then. Not that it matters, he's handsome, however you see him"

"Wait, hold on. He cried? The captain cried?"

"No, he didn't. I said about to cry. I stopped him when I said that he hold on to it and only give it to me the moment I actually leave and go back."

"So you two are engage?"

"In a way, yes. I think? I introduced him to my family once were on a vacation and on another me to his."

"Wait, wait, wait. You said the squad members were still harassing and verbally insulting you, so no one knows you and the captain are a thing?"

"Oh, they know about it. Their smiles were hurtful when I see them whenever me and the captain walk beside each other when we do the routine inspection."

"What?"

"And their remarks reminding me how beautiful and calm the scenes are in the country side and how buzzling and exciting a life in the city is, don't you think it's still harassment? No matter how politely and kindly they tell it to me, I can see through their masks. I can see through their facade. They want me to quit."

"What?"

"You know what? I think the captain is in it too. Why I ought to tell him how disgusting they're treating me. Wait, there's a better idea, I have to go to the HR about this-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Let's calm ourselves first, alright?"

-------------

B: Have you ever thought about giving up?

A: What?

B: Come on. With how things are going… don’t you think maybe, at this point, you’re not really cut out for this?

A: Oh… that hasn’t crossed my mind in a while. A few years ago, maybe.

B: So you did think about it once?

A: Yeah. After my last mission—well, assignment, I guess. But quitting isn’t something you just do. You have to tell your superiors first—or at least a senior. In my case, the captain.

B: And?

A: Back when he wasn’t a captain yet… before his promotion. We were just nobodies in the back quarters. He was my senior then, and I guess he still is now.

B: So what happened? Why are you still here?

A: Funny story… kind of embarrassing, too. He told me it doesn’t matter what others think of me—or even what I think of myself. Sounds odd coming from him, right? But he said what matters is that I’m here. That it means something to people who care.

B: Wait—the captain said that?

A: Not word for word. But that’s how I understood it. So here I am. Still under his wings… under his command.

B: Wow… so this is like… romantic or something?

A: I don’t know. Maybe? We still have Arthur, and the captain doesn’t treat him any differently. Maybe the captain’s in love with me.

B: Isn’t he married?

A: Married?

B: He’s got that ring on his necklace. Doesn’t that mean anything?

A: Oh, that ring? I gave it to him.

B: Wait… you what? I was trying to make you leave the squad, and now—

A: Leave the squad? Why would I?

B: Not gonna lie… your skills aren’t up to par. You get what I mean.

A: Yeah, I get you. Are you saying that because you’re looking out for me… or because I’m dragging the team down?

B: Honestly? Both.

A: That hurts a little—but it’s the truth. Still… my answer’s no.

B: No? Why?

A: I know I’m baggage at this point… but I won’t quit.

B: Some of the squad would agree with me about you leaving. You know that, right?

A: I know.

B: So… are they harassing you or something?

A: Not anymore. I told the captain.

B: Really? What did he do?

A: He said he’d handle it. Things got better… just not by much.

B: That doesn’t sound like things actually got better.

A: Before, they got physical. I even got injured once. The captain was most concerned. He personally carried me to the infirmary.

B: What? When was that?

A: Back before he was captain. He knew my situation, but we were all the same rank. He could only comfort me… protect me when he could. When he wasn’t around… the bullying came back.

B: So… you two were kind of sweethearts?

A: Sort of. I think. Now that you mention it.

B: Okay, just to be clear—I’m not harassing you, alright? Please don’t tell the captain about me.

A: Relax. When he became captain, the physical bullying stopped. But the verbal stuff? Still there.

B: Even now?

A: Yeah. And when he got promoted, he told me to quit.

B: What?! I thought he was protecting and encouraging you!

A: He said I wasn’t good for the squad. That I was dragging everyone down. That I should go back to the countryside, find love… settle down.

B: Wait—what? That sounds like a breakup speech!

A: He said it kindly. He wanted me to live safely… peacefully.

B: So what did you say?

A: I told him I’d stay. No matter what.

B: Hold on—does that mean you proposed to him?

A: Propose? As in marriage? I… didn’t see it that way. And if it’s the proposal you’re talking about, he was the one who proposed.

B: What? Are you serious?

A: Yeah. A few days after that talk, he started avoiding me—like a shy school kid. Then the squad treated me nicely… even the mean ones. It felt like I’d suddenly become second-in-command.

B: So then what happened?

A: When I caught up with him, he handed me a ring. Said I should take it as an engagement ring… or just a gift, if I didn’t feel the same.

B: And?

A: I gave it back. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. My heart was all over the place… I just froze.

B: What?! You rejected the captain?!

A: No… not really. I told him to keep it until the day I actually leave the squad. Then he can give it to me again.

B: So you two are… engaged?

A: Yes? I think? Like two best buddies, right? We’ve met each other’s families, at least.

B: You serious?!

A: Excuse me?

B: Really?

A: What are you on about—

B: So things actually changed for the better.

A: I guess. Though the insults… they still come.

B: The squad still insults you? Even after all that? Does everyone know about you and the captain?

A: They know. Their smiles sting the most. When the captain and I walk together during inspection, they’ll say things like, “The countryside must be peaceful,” or “City life’s exciting, don’t you think?” Polite… fake. They just want me to quit.

B: I think you’re misunderstanding—

A: I think the captain’s in on it too. Maybe it’s all some plan to push me out. I should report this to HR—

B: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s calm down first, alright?

Random Leaf #1633

If the afterlife is real,

Let's see each other again.

Random Leaf #1632

"It's unfortunate I am not unfamiliar with sacrifice."

"You are what not?"

"I'm trying to be poetic here."

"More like romance, once more. You're just doing that because you like her, right?"

"No."

"Wait, don't tell me? Again?"

"What do you mean again? What is it?"

"It's just like last time. You're feeling lonely."

Random Leaf #1631

"It is stories and poems that move people."

"Said by who?"

"Please let me hit you just one with a hardbound dictionary. I beg of you."

Random Leaf #1630

Over a thousand lifetimes

And you chose her to be happy

Instead for you to be.

You are not the king

Who is punished to keep trying

Only to meet with tragedy indefinitely.

You are not the god

Who so chose the blind

Only to be routinely punished.

You are not the boy

Who, so young and innocent

Is introduced to freedom both in life.

You do not need to be

A hero of a tragic tale

Written as a comedy.

Go on and love someone else.

Even the child Narcissus is

Right one time more than you.

Random Leaf #1629

I choose to be kind because

I also want others to be.

I choose to be kind because

I want people to accept me.

I choose to be kind because

Of the sins I will after.

More like collecting debts.

I choose to be kind because

this world isn't always.

I choose to be kind because

I don't have much time left.

I choose to be kind because

Someone have also been kind to me.

I choose to be kind because

I know it's a good deed.

I choose to be kind because

people aren't always.

I choose to be kind because

I want a better world.

I choose to be kind because

I want to set an example to others.

I choose to be kind because

I'm going to hell anyway.

I choose to be kind because

there people who are.

I choose to be kind because

the world doesn't need to be ugly.

Someone else already said that. I know.

I choose to be kind because

I just want to.

I choose to be kind because

I know people need kindness.

I choose to be kind because

My father told me to be.

I choose to be kind because

My parents are.

I choose to be kind because

Somehow, despite how grim things look,

I can give hope to someone else.

It doesn't have to be me, I already know

Where I'm going but

For hope.

I choose to be kind because

people expect me to be.

I choose to be kind because

I need to be.

I choose to be kind because

That's what the religious people said.

I choose to be kind because

We already live in a cruel world.

It does not have to be ugly.

Someone said this, not my own.

Wait? Someone else other than me

Already said this? And they said it's also

from somewhere else?

I choose to be kind because

I have no other choice.

I choose to be kind because

Sometimes I want to be

And sometimes I don't.

No particular reason, I guess?

Maybe for a favor?

I don't know, sometimes I just do

Without even me knowing it

Until someone else says it to me.

I choose to be kind because

that's what I to be when I grow up.

The boy said it. You know,

The boy, horse, fox, mole,

Poet, king, soldier.

I choose to be kind because

I want to be noticed.

I choose to be kind because

There is something I want.

I choose to be kind because

Peace.

I choose to be kind because

It's a good content.

I choose to be kind because

I have faith.

I choose to be kind because

What else can I choose?

I don't want to go back, you know?

I'm a changed man.

I need to be a changed man.

I choose to be kind because

That's what my favorite

Fictional character said.

I choose to be kind because

That's my favorite artist said.

I choose to be kind because

Good music exists.

I choose to be kind because

That's what my favorite song

Is trying to convey.

I choose to be kind because

That's what my favorite teacher said.

I choose to be kind because

I don't want to be like

Our strict and scary teacher in class

When I grow up.

I choose to be kind because

That's proper manner.

I choose to be kind because

That's just I am.

I choose to be kind because

I get to eat good food with my family

We eat and stay together because

I'm kind, my daddy's kind,

my mommy's kind, my sister's kind,

my brother's kind, even Bruce is kind too.

One day, he didn't bark

At the kind mail man

Who often delivers mail on

Sunday and Tuesday

When everyone's out except me, mommy

And Bruce.

I often hear mommy and the mail man do

Repairs on the second floor

I don't know what they're repairing though.

But mommy's always exhausted when they Come down after an hour or so.

I choose to be kind because

I want to be a cop just like dad.

He shoots bad guy.

One time, I saw his picture in the TV.

Mommy said people are looking for him.

Maybe they want to award him.

When dad got home that day

It was already very dark

I heard mommy crying. 

When I went to the stairs

I saw dad for one last time.

He was hugging me mommy.

I called out to dad.

I don't know what they were talking,

I heard daddy telling mommy not to cry.

Dad looked at me and gave me a salute.

I saluted back.

Dad said he's going out for a while

And I had to take care of mommy.

When dad left,

mommy started crying again.

But it was more gentle.

That's the last time I saw dad.

But I know one day he'll come back.

People are probably preparing

A big reward for him when he get back

That's what I saw on the TV

And the posters.

It has a lot of zeroes.

One, two, three, four,

I think seven.

Seven zeroes and a one, because

Dad's number one.

I choose to be kind because

There's nothing else to be.

I choose to be kind because

In a way I'm talking to a higher being,

Doing the purpose the assigned me.

Yes, it was a higher being that said to me

To put that powder

In the drinking water tank of our school.

I did't kill anyone. I just did

An act of kindness.

I was told the powder is something like

That boost energy. So I did.

I did an act of kindness. That's all.

I choose to be kind because

Somehow the world notices this deeds.

I choose to be kind because

This is a good world, full of people.

That are in need of kindness.

I choose to be kind because

People are also kind to me,

Why shouldn't I be?

I choose to be kind because

There are good and kind people,

I want to be just like them.

I choose to be kind because

I want to help people.

I choose to be kind because

I want to be rich. Let's be honest,

We don't do favors for free.

We do it because we want something.

Martha, my office mate, she does favor,

A lot.

And you know what?

Martha's already an executive

In our company.

We started at the same time, actually,

but look at me,

I'm still in my crammy desk,

With a sometimes defective airconditioner

And a bossy and moody team leader

Who just can't fu-

Oh, sorry.

Who just can't shut..

Who just can't be kind.

Maybe that's why she's already

In her retirement age and still just

A team leader.

I don't want to end up like her.

I'll be like Martha.

I choose to be kind because

The film The world is Beautiful exists.

I choose to be kind because

Of that one movie

With that special case dad.

God! I love that show.

I choose to be kind because

I just want to be.

Random Leaf #1628

Wait?

Something's not right.

This isn't it, right?

No, no, no.

You did your best.

You did your best.

I know.

I know.

It's not over yet.

It's not over.

I'm here.

I'm here.

Even if the world

Is against you,

I'm here.

I'm here.

I'm here with you.

I'm here with you.

We can fix this.

We can fix this.

Everything's alright,

You hear?

Alright?

Let's try again,

Shall we?

Alright?

There.

That's the smile,

The smile I only need.

We can fix this.

We can fix this.

I'm here.

I'm here.

Emontionless Man in the E.R.

Breath!

Breath!

Please! Breath!

Live!

Live!

Please! Live!

Don't you die.

Don't you die on me.

Please!

I don't care

If I'll be

The first

To cause

You tears.

I don't care

If I'll be

The first

To cause

To cry.

I'll save you.

I'll save you.

I'll save you.

Random Leaf #1627

"Being kind isn't always about being kind."

"What?"

"I met a kind god. You could even say he is the god of kindness. He is very kind."

"Wha- Okay, god of kindness. I know you're speaking through the meds you took and right now you're-"

"He offered me his name."

"Huh?"

"He offered me his name. He's willing to give his title to me. The title of being the most kind. The god of kindness."

"Okay, then what? Did you take it?"

"I failed his test."

"What?"

"I failed his test."

"Wha- How?"

"He said to me: to be kind, one should also know when to be."

"Okay, what did you exactly do?"

"I offered man fire."

Random Leaf #1626

"And you can't even handle a graze of an arrow on your butt. What makes you think you're ready for a knife to your throat? Face it, one way or another we either win this war or we go down sinking with this castle unabandonded by hope. Although, I can't say much for the hope thing but I'm certain each one of us is hoping, right?"

"..."

"What made you think you can go on ahead of any one of us without you yourself being steadfast and ready for what is to happen?"

"I-"

"Wait! Don't tell me. This is like the time you. Yes, now I get. Your life. Give it to me."

"It's not like-"

"I said! Your life! Give it to me!"

"Alright, I swear."

Random Leaf #1625

"You're going to die soon."

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"No remarks for it?"

"None, I guess. Right now, I'm just trying to absorb everything that happened."

"..."

"..."

"You're seriously not going to say anything when, you know, death is coming for you."

"What more can I say? I wish I could write more and tell more people about silly tales and witty stories. I wish could talk to more people. I wish I could've written on more leaves. I wish of a lot of things but if this is it. Then this is it."

"..."

"..."

"You aren't afraid, are you?"

"How can I not? I don't know what's beyond life  No one really knows. Will I go to hell for many sins I've done? Will I even get a chance to speak with The One who made us? Will I be forgiven and be let in paradise? What's paradise like? I hope it isn't boring in there. Will I be reincarnated, just like the many characters I've read and watched? I wonder what the world will be like in another world? Or would I be reborn in a different time? I wonder if I could keep a bit or all the memories I have in this life. I wonder if there's magic there. I wonder how things would be in that other world. Or will things just be like how our old or broken eletronic is, things will just go blank or fade to black? I don't know. Will death be like the reaper as portrayed in fictions or will he be something else? Is it even a he? Maybe she's a woman. I wonder if I could woo her. So on and so on. Bottom line, I am not unafraid. You know me, my good friend, I get scared easily, I don't like creepy stuffs. And with death coming for me. How can I not be fearful?"

"You don't seem to be afraid."

"Don't I?"

"You seem calm about it."

"I don't know. Must be my ADHD kicking in?"

"You're going to hide behind you're.. mental.. ill-"

"Trait, it's a trait. Not an illness."

"Okay, okay, so how can you look calm?"

"With acceptance, I guess? I don't know. If I don't act calm, I might act anxious, nervous, hysteric. This is a mental illness that easily spread and I don't want that. Does that satisfy your question about me being calm."

"..."

"..."

".. Yes."

"..."

"Does it hurt?"

"It does but years of experience let me endure this bits of pain. What's like thirty, twenty, ten years of being hurt can compare to but a fleeting moment of struggle? It hurts but not as much."

"..."

"..."

"People will cry for you."

"..."

"Not going to say anything about that?"

"Not that I'm not going to say anything but I can't. This one time, I know I will hurt them, I hope they could forgive me but.. I don't know. I don't know how to say clearly how I regretful and sorry I should be to them."

"..."

"If I could then, for each and everyone of them that I'll hurt, I wish I could apologize to them after."

"Why not now?"

"I haven't died yet."

"So why not now?"

"Truth be told, I don't know what to say, except to ask for an apology. That's it, nothing more."

Random Leaf #1624

He is strong, or rather that's how he wants the world to see him. The facade he wears, he wears it all too naturally. But that isn't his truth. He is strong. No one knew that he's also a crybaby if he cries. Not too many knows about it except his closest friends. Not even himself knew they're aware. But they all love him, anyway. He is the strongest one among all of them. Truly the definition of a true hero, and what's magical is when drought comes and the world needs water, he'd cry not just a river but entire seas and oceans. That's just how resillient and how weak he is. He is never unfamiliar with tears. He too can cry. He too cries.

Random Leaf #1623

"So what was story about?"

"Do you know the movie titled My Dinner with Andre?"

"Dinne with Andre? Another movie? What's it about?"

"No, I mean. The movie is just like the movie Dinner with Andre."

"I don'r understand, sorry."

"The movie Dinner with Andre is a two hour talk of two guys over dinner in a restaurant."

"A two hour talk? What? Isn't that kind of boring?"

"It sounds like that but it isn't. Well, if you' nor into long talks and is more of an action, drama fellow, I guess you wouldn't be too engaged in the movie. But enough with that old master piece, this new one is just like that but a bit different."

"Does it also involve a lot of talking?"

"It's a three hour movie."

"So there's more to it?"

"Yes.. No.. it's a three hour talking and dicussing of a group of friends. They're seven."

"A three hour talk, discussion movie?"

"I think I'm going to have to pass on it."

"No, you must not. It's a great movie. Seven friends reunites 20 years after they graduate from highschool. They planned on going on a vacation home on one of their rich friend. Unfortunately, on their way to the vacation house, the van they have stopped. They ran out of fuel and they're in a lonely and long road. The sides of the road are overgrown with corn fields. So it's quite dark, and errie. You'd feel like yoi're watchinf a horror movie."

"Just like Jeepers Creepers?"

"Yes, but there's no demonic monster entity in the entire movie."

"It's boring then."

"No! The director made sure you're engage with the talk and it's quite comedic actually. So they got stranded, you see. They drew lots for one of them to get fuel."

"Get fuel? And just a single person? It's a perfect formula for a horror movie."

"One of them gets picked. But the guys, Gustavo, is a scaredy cat."

"Gustavo.."

"Fortunately, his bestfriend Tim went with him. The two went on a walk to the nearest gas station. It is quite far. The road gets dark and the silence and ambiance of no background music makes things eerily engaging. But it's not entirely missing in the movie."

"What? Wait, I thought you said the movie focused on the talk and discussion of the group of friend. Why are you focusing on the journey of Gustavo and Tim?"

"Well, the scenes jump from one end to the other and it's funny how parallel the talks of the five friends left and the two that went to get gas."

"I'm lost."

"After the two went to get gas, the five friends left takes the emergenct light they have and then the cooler they packed with them. It's like they camped to drink in that dark cloudless night. They discussed quite a lot of things, from politics, to what's going on with the lives, their dreams yet to be realized, their other friends who are still chasing stars, the ones who've caught one, the one who gave up early and a lot of things."

"So it's drinking session of a group of friends. That can be interesting."

"I told you that the background music is missing in the most part, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the thing is, the two who went to get gas, they have that background music, ambiance with them. And it's quite funny. There's nothing horror about thr movie except for the sudden startling music accompaniment while they discuss scary things. As I said, the nearest station is quite far and road is dark and the sides are filled with corn field. It's hilarious how the music kicks in and Gustavo would suddenly turn his head on his side. Tim is quite a prankster on Gustavo but that's just him teasing his bestfriend."

"Is that all?"

"I think so. But their discussion is truly engaging and the ambience is wonderfully immersive. It feels like you're drinking with them or in the shoes of Gustavo as he gets scared easily on their two man trek."

"How'd the story end?"

"Gustavo and Tim arrived safely in the gas station, the crew is a bit irratating at first but hearing about their story, the crew helped the two get back with their other friends. When the two meet with othersx the rest were welcoming them to have a drink. Gustavo got mad that they started withour them. But with Tim there, things got deescalated. They gave the kind gas station crew a generous tip and two cans of beer before leaving them. The rest of the friends continued drinking and told each other their many tales. The scene fades to black and return to them waking up. Tim is manning the wheels while the rest are either still asleep or just doing their usual road trip thing."

"Everything that happened is real, right?"

"Yes. They just skipped the part with clean up and the what nots."

"That's all that happened?"

"Yes. But I think you should really watch the film, you'd get invested in it. I promise you that. I know you like a good drink and a good chat, so yeah, you'll really definitely going to like this film."

Random Leaf #1622

"I have this bad habit of wanting to be heard."

"Must be you're ADHD kicking?"

"Must be. I don't know. When I speak, even if I say something irrelevant or completely out of context or up to the point simply gibbirish, no matter, I want to be heard. I want to be noticed."

"Must be some sort of a syndrome or something?"

"I heard there is this something called thr main character syndrome or whatever it's called. But I don't know. I feel too lucid for that. I feel like I'm too aware for that."

"What do you mean?"

"If there is such a thing, I don't think I am the main character."

"How can you tell?"

"Characters in stories have roles to play, they follow certain rules. I think it's called archetypes. And I'm certain mine is either not one of them of the archetypes or if I do have one, if I do have a role to play, I certainly am not the one leading the story."

"How are you so sure about it?"

"I just."

"So this habit of yours."

"Yeah. Must be just my ADHD."

Random Leaf #1621

It was never mentioned he was in loved. He was just fascinated. That's all. He's interesting in something that is foreign to the world through his eyes. And to him, when he first saw her, she was magical, ethereal and not of this world. There was something that's differently glowing about her, he once said. And that was one of the few moments he'd just speak out his mind without him evem realizing it. Oddly enough, the way he said, compared how I remembered, is way more lucid, way more real. It does include his voice. He has this nonchalant, uncaring, careless, low toned voice but when he described her for the first time, it was odd, very peculiar. In a way comedic. His voice rose in pitched. From a bass to a baritone to a tenor. It was as if himself his own choir that could even rival the greatest of orchestra ever assembled. Ah, it was all too fascinating. But never did he ever mentioned he was in loved. Or did he? And it was just not her for him.

Random Leaf #1620

"You're the one who come up with good name. So, what's it called?"

"It's called the karmic price of kindness."

"Karmic what?"

"Karma doesn't always grant rewards to those who do good. If that's how things work then there shouldn't be any suffering good people?"

"Isn't it just called a test of faith?"

"No, it's called balance. That's the true essense of karma. Balance. Not all who do good are rewarded. Kindness also has a price. One must always be ready to pay the toll."

"It sounds evil."

"On one perspective, yes. As another saying goes, too much of a good can also be bad. If one keep being kind to another, sooner or later, they'll get abused. One doesn't always get rewarded for the good things they do.That's why karma exists. A balance, must exists."

"Essentially you're saying that one must also do bad."

"Not quite. Doing bad thing is different from not doing anything at all."

"What?"

"Learn when not to do a good thing."

"What?"

"Please tell what miracle is."

Random Leaf #1619

"The fact that he kept on smiling, doesn't mean anything. He also know how real eyes work. He knows how to wear a facade."

"It just doesn't make a sense."

"What doesn't, are the miracles he kept on performing."

"Miracles?"

"Weren't you all told he was dying a few years ago?"

"We were. But wasn't he cured?"

"Who said he was? He'z been fighting against that disease he has. It's wonderful it wasn't contagious or if it was, he really kept it only to himself. Isn't that in itself a miracle? And that was what? Five, ten years ago, and he kept on fighting. He kept on holding."

"No one kne.. How did he managed it?"

"As I said, he knows how real eyes work. No one can actually tell, but himself, that he is hurting. No one knew and no one can tell. That's how good he is."

"Why? Why didn't he tell anyone of us?"

Random Leaf #1618

"I'm not lying. No matter how evil you are. No matter how cruel you treat others. I am sure that someone, somewhere in this world will cry when you're gone."

"Doesn't ma-"

"Don't say it doesn't matter. That fact that someone would shed tears even for someone like you, it means something. It means.. It means something."

"Tell me."

"You are loved."

"Such an over used lie. Won't work on me."

"But it isn't. You just don't know it. But you are. More than can actually ever know."

"You telling me this. Does it change.. Can I still be forgi- No.. What's even use of telling me this?"

"Love yourself. Don't lose yourself. Forgive yourself. There is so much more to live for. Live!"

"You tell me this, to someone who's already dying. Didn't you know? I'm dying."

"What?"

Random Leaf #1617

No more.

No more?

No more!

No! More!

Random Leaf #1616

"If you're going to hell anyway you do, why are you kind to others? You said it yourself, no matter how much good deeds you do or forgiveness you ask, when you die you will go to hell. No purgatory, no heaven. Just hell."

"To tell the truth, I'm bottling things up."

"What?"

"I want to lash out a people. Say mean things to them. I want to hurt them. Not just some simple punches but actually making them hurt and beg for the pain to stop. I want to destroy stuffs. I want things to burn. I want to burn things. I want everyone to burn. By my hands, I want to burn this world."

"You're.. you're not like that."

"But I'd rather not. As you just said, I'm not like that at all. Or maybe, that's just how you know me. You actually don't know me, right? You only knew me recently, say fifteen, twenty years? Such little time to understand someone."

"But you're a kind and gentle person."

"Such as I who is hell bound. Right now, I'm feeling my muscles twitching, my fibers contracting. I want to throw tantrums. I want to rage."

"You're not like that."

"But then again, why would I want to make hell for others? If I'm bound to go to hell when I die, what different would it make if I make others feel it or not. Maybe I'm just a selfish, selfless sorry excuse of a poor soul that I'm not doing anything about something I can't do anything about."

"But you aren't, a good perso-"

"Too soon for you to know things about me. If it's like love, you only know me skin deep. That's it. I am a paradox personified. Simply knowing this means you understood half of me."

"Does your eyes also tell lies?"

"Oh! If only you knew and if only you could see."

"See what?"

"Real eyes cannot realize real lies. You need more than that."

"I don't understand."

"You don't have to. Let's just enjoy this banquet while it last. The wine, they said, is sweeter than the last three towns we came from. The brisket and the rack of lamb, they serve here, is very most moist and easily melt in your mouth. Truly a delicacy."

"We're not yet done-"

"Barkeep! I want to celebrate this night, this special night. Please give a round of drink to everyone in this place. I want tonight to be the most memorable!"

"I'm leaving if you keep this up. I said we're not done talking."

"Quiet down, the jerry cans in the back of our trunk is ready for a great show. A great show of fire works."

"Show? Jerry cans? Fireworks? Wait, we don't have any fire-"

"Fire. Works."

"Everyone! Today's my birthday, please join me in celebrating this special day."

Random Leaf #1615

"You aren't evil, you know it too, right?"

"I am needed to be."

"No, you're not. It's fine if you're with us. You don't need to be like this. This facade of yours is totally unnecessary."

"Sacrifice."

"What do you mean sacrifice? No need to go that far. If you're with us and if stick together, things will become better."

"Uncertain."

"You say that now, but sooner or later things will be. Just believe. Hope for it. Believe. Faith."

Random Leaf #1614

"Do not compare evil."

"What?"

"The heart and soul of each person weigh things differently."

"And so?"

"A young child crying over an ice cream dropped on the street and an old man's recently dead dog."

"Those are two different things."

"Yet both cries, regardless. Their soul and heart overflows with what is lost."

"You can't compare a long time companion to a fleeting satisfaction."

"Yet both cries, regardless."

Random Leaf #1613

"Does the heart need be tug to strum kindness?"

"Oh! So, we're going poetic now. Care to elaborate?"

"Imagine seeing a homeless man begging for food. You hear his stomach grumbling. You see his hands shaking. But you noticed he isn't too old. In fact, he is younger than your father. His muscles, arms and parts of him visible, is oddly shaped meant for a laborer. Yet he is there begging. Would you be obligated to help or have this certain hesitation. A question set in your mind, should you help him? Or if in case you decided to help after thinking hard in a very short amount of time, a lingering thought, should you have helped him?"

"A person who is fit for work is asking for help. Depending on the situation, maybe I would have helped the beggar. Or, maybe not. I don't know. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't."

"Imagine hearing a chat of two brothers. One clearly older, but not that old, and the other younger, but not that young. A highschooler and a gradeschooler. The older one promising a far better future for the two as long the younger one have to be patient and be resilient with whatever their facing. Let's make it more clear, shall we? The two are celebrating the younger one's birthday. Due to circumstance, they, or rather the older one, could only afford to have a single meal meant just for one person. The younger one asks why they only have one set of meal, the older one clearly lies and says  he isn't that hungry and goes on to give the who meal to his younger brother. You who overhears this conversation, given that you are in that certain scenario, you're allowed to, would you do something about it?"

"Does it mean I can giv-"

"This same given is also applied with the first one as well, regarding the homeless man. Now, tell me, between the two, to whom are you more inclined to be kind to?"

Random Leaf #1612

"They were made unaware, to keep their innocent. Much like an empty slate of an untouched piece of paper, free of blemish and style. But what is it anyway except for it to be written upon. No lines nor letters could ever not hope to free it from ignorance."

"What did the paper say?"

"It asked what it's purpose is."

Random Leaf #1611

"Let's all make a scene. Everyone loves that. No record in history written without any form of extravagant. Be wild, be loud, be dramatic. That is what gets everyone's blood boiling."

"There is also beauty in silence. A welcoming feeling in the minute details. Don't deny those."

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

"A poem can both be written or said."

Random Leaf #1610

One fuck you,

After another.

Is there anymore?

Come on.

Random Leaf #1609

"My first friend. My one and only friend. She was dying and the world called for a hero. Which one am I supposed to save first?"

"Do the right choice?"

"How can I choose which one's right when both are and if I do, I will feel ultimately in the wrong."

"That is a problem indeed."

"I can't abandon her. We promised to each other that.. that we'd go many places together. She's my first friend. When the world is beating me up with it's cruelty and sharp piercing glances of indecision to not help me, she was the only one who went by my side."

"Tell you what, if both options are right, why not pick the wrong one?"

"What?"

"There is always the devil. A hero's soul is.. is something that cannot be taken lightly. In simpler words, it is worth lot."

"What are you saying?"

"Let the devil help you. He will pay any price for something as precious as yours."

"No! I'd rather-"

Random Leaf #1608

No act of kindness, no matter small, go unrewarded.

Random Leaf #1607

No effort unnoticed.

Random Leaf #1606

Are they the

ones who love

but believe themselves

to be unloved?

Are they those

who knows much

more about love

yet hopes less?

Are they those

who refuses they

are in love

when asked

Yet in their

heart love overflows?

Random Leaf #1605

There exists love

And those who

Without any intentions,

yield to it.

They are romantics.

And there are

those who refuse,

those who intentionally

do not yield.

They are hopeless.

But who are

the hopeless romantics?

Are they, with

Intentions or without,

looking for love

that never exists?

Random Leaf #1604

I will not let you cry alone.

Random Leaf #1603

She dances in between tears.

Most elegant and smooth

Are her flow and rhythm.

Here and there, a few steps

Hence, she lets out a sigh.

Her gazed goes outward then in.

It was as if she's waiting

For someone to dance with her.

Oh, how I wish she'd cry for me.

Random Leaf #1602

"So what is this all powerful skill you unlocked?"

"It's called heart's canceller."

"Hearts canceller? That sounds powerful. What does it do? Is it like a passive, area effect aura? Like if a hostile creature gets close to you, their heart would cancel beating?"

"Actually, it's the other way around."

"Other way around? Further hostilities-"

"It stops my heart from beating."

"What?"

Random Leaf #1601

When you can't fly, I will give you the wind. Use it to lift yourself up. When you can't hear even your own voice, I will give you silence. Shout to your heart's content.

Random Leaf #1600

No effort futile,

no small act of kindness unnoticed.

The world notices,

The world recognizes.

Random Leaf #1599

"The heroes are never always heroes. They are people who actually did not dream big from the start. They are the ones who listened to stories. They are the ones who see the miracles in life. They are ones who see signs."

"Just all that?"

"There's one more."

"What is it?"

"They are ones who have to make choices."

"What? Like, they are in control?"

"No, but choices for themselves. They are the ones who have step up. It is never always their instinct that govern their action, that crazy cliché that their body just suddenly started moving. That's comic book heroes. The real heroes always have to choose. They have to decide."

"What are they choosing? Who to save first? What actions should they do first? What to do after?"

"Those are all a part of it. But the first thing they have to decide is whether they have to step up and brave challenges or stand down and in fear surrender."

"What? I don't understand what you're saying."

"To simplify, the heroes always have to choose to be one or not."

"No! That isn't always the case. It sounds like the heroes are fearful for their lives if that's how it is."

"That how it is. They just always mask it with a facade that their bodies started moving when in fact from the start they are fearful for their action. Or they have this alibis of we're not ready. But in fact, they are."

"That's just blasphemy to them."

"I only speak the truth."

"That isn't the truth. You're just making it all up to tarnish the heroes' names."

"It is. And I am certain that if you ask this to heroes they'd either deny it or they'd make it so that they're giving a great life lesson."

"Lies! And how can so sure, you aren't even a hero. Who are to define how heroes go with their.. With their actions.. And their choices?"

"I'm.. I guess, I'm someone who's good at observing people. Especially heroes. But I only mentioned two choices. There are many more after the first one."