"What?"
"Oh, come on. With the way things are going. Don't you think, maybe, you know, at this point, maybe, you're not actually cut out for this?"
"Oh. That.. that haven't crossed my mind for a while now. I think a few years ago it did."
"What?"
"Yes, I thought of giving up once."
"So why are you still here?"
"It's a bit of a funny and embarrassing story, actually. You know I'm not great when, you know, when things actually need actions and such. I told myself I'm quitting after the last mission, assignment? I think. And you know, quitting isn't something you just up and go. You need to tell your superiors about it first or at the very least, a senior. At that time, the captain wasn't the captain yet, we're the same no body as those in the back quarters. The captain was the senior in charge of me back then, and I think he still is until now.-"
"Get to the point, why are you still here?"
"He told me that it doesn't matter how others think or how I think about myself. Yes, I know, the captain's quite the self centered person, right? So he goes on to tell that, it doesn't matter because how negatively I look at myself or how other does, what matter is to people who cares that I'm here."
"I.. I don't.. what? I don't understand."
"Basically he's saying it matters to him that I was here, that I'm here. No matter how inferior skills are or how little I can contribute to our squad, I think he's saying he's thankful I'm here."
"What? The captain? The captain said that?"
"Not word by word but that's how I interpreted it. So here I am. Still beside him or rather now, under his wings, under his command."
"Hard to believe. This is in a romantic way or something?"
"I don't know. Maybe? We have Arthur there who we also go way back but the captain doesn't treat him differently compared to others. Maybe the captain's in love with me?"
"Isn't he like married?"
"He is?"
"He's got that ring on his necklace. Doesn't that symbolize anything?"
"Oh, you mean that ring he wears. I gave that to him, I think."
"What? Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, we've lost track here. I was trying to make you leave the squad but now I feel like-"
"What? Leave the squad? Why would I?"
"Not going to lie but your skills aren't up to par. If you get what I mean."
"Oh, yeah, I get you. This is looking out for me or just because, you know, I'm dragging the team down?"
"At this point, I really don't want to lie to you. Yes on those two accounts."
"Hurts a bit but that's the truth. But my answer's no."
"What? Why?"
"I know I'm just a baggage to everyone at this point but I won't quit."
"Some of the members in our squad would agree with me with you leaving, you know that?"
"I know."
"What?"
"So are they like, harassing you or something?"
"Not really. I told this to the captain, you know."
"Really? What did he do?"
"He said he'd do something about it but things just got not as hard as before I told the captain about it."
"What?"
"Before, the squad members were going too physical about it, I even got injured once. The captain was most concerned, I think. He personally carried me to the infirmary once."
"What? When?"
"Way back before when the captain is not yet the captain of the squad. He knows about my situation but since we're all the same rank he couldn't do much but comfort me and stay by my side. He'd protect me but since we're all in the same rank, despite having strength as the way to determine respect, when the captain's not around, I'd get bullied."
"What? So back then you're like sweethearts or something."
"Sort of. I think? Now that you mentioned it, I think we were."
"What? Wait a minute. I'm not harassing or bullying you, alright? So in any case, please don't tell the captain about me."
"Oh, the thing is. When the captain became the captain, the physical bullying stopped but insults and verbal abuses, it's still there."
"What?"
"The thing is, he actually said it to me when he became captain."
"What?"
"For me to quit and just stay in the city or the country side where it's safer."
"What? Wait, wait, wait, hold on just a minute. Wasn't he protecting and enco- Oh, oh."
"He said I'm not good for the squad and I'm just dragging everyone down."
"Seriously, what? I thought, you know, he wants you to settle down as in marrying him or something."
"That's what he said. He told me to leave and quit, find love and settle down."
"What?"
"Then I told him I want to stay by his side, no matter what."
"So you mean like, you propose to the captain?"
"Propose? Propose as in get married?"
"Yeah?"
"I wasn't the one who proposed. It was him."
"What? I'm confused. Seriously, what?"
"After our conversation about me quitting, it was days or a week I think before we spoke with each other. And during those days and weeks, things were really were weird. The people in the squad were very polite with me, supportive of me even. Yeah, the mean people against me were acting kind. It was so strange. It was as if I was the second in command or something. It felt a bit awkward the way things were going so I tried looking for the captain and have a private talk with him. Funny thing is, for those few days or so, I couldn't get a hold of the captain. As if he was deliberately avoiding me."
"Wh.. what does the captain's looks like when he sees you?"
"I think it's the same way as he does when we first met here."
"What?"
"So, anyway, when I got a hold of him. It was him who proposed."
"Why am I only hearing this now?"
"Well, you just recently joined the squad so it isn't much of a big deal."
"Not a big deal? The captain is a big deal so this.. this thing going on between you is not not a big deal."
"I told him I don't-"
"Wait, what? You rejected the captain?"
"No, silly. Let me finish. I told him I don't know what to say. He handed me the ring and said I should keep it. If I do not take it as an engagement ring or something, I should just take it as a gift from him."
"And? Where's the ring?"
"I gave it back."
"What? So you really rejected the captain. Oh! Man! So how did the captain react?"
"When I handed it back his stern and serious face started to crumple. He looks face looks so cute then. Not that it matters, he's handsome, however you see him"
"Wait, hold on. He cried? The captain cried?"
"No, he didn't. I said about to cry. I stopped him when I said that he hold on to it and only give it to me the moment I actually leave and go back."
"So you two are engage?"
"In a way, yes. I think? I introduced him to my family once were on a vacation and on another me to his."
"Wait, wait, wait. You said the squad members were still harassing and verbally insulting you, so no one knows you and the captain are a thing?"
"Oh, they know about it. Their smiles were hurtful when I see them whenever me and the captain walk beside each other when we do the routine inspection."
"What?"
"And their remarks reminding me how beautiful and calm the scenes are in the country side and how buzzling and exciting a life in the city is, don't you think it's still harassment? No matter how politely and kindly they tell it to me, I can see through their masks. I can see through their facade. They want me to quit."
"What?"
"You know what? I think the captain is in it too. Why I ought to tell him how disgusting they're treating me. Wait, there's a better idea, I have to go to the HR about this-"
"Wait, wait, wait. Let's calm ourselves first, alright?"
-------------
B: Have you ever thought about giving up?
A: What?
B: Come on. With how things are going… don’t you think maybe, at this point, you’re not really cut out for this?
A: Oh… that hasn’t crossed my mind in a while. A few years ago, maybe.
B: So you did think about it once?
A: Yeah. After my last mission—well, assignment, I guess. But quitting isn’t something you just do. You have to tell your superiors first—or at least a senior. In my case, the captain.
B: And?
A: Back when he wasn’t a captain yet… before his promotion. We were just nobodies in the back quarters. He was my senior then, and I guess he still is now.
B: So what happened? Why are you still here?
A: Funny story… kind of embarrassing, too. He told me it doesn’t matter what others think of me—or even what I think of myself. Sounds odd coming from him, right? But he said what matters is that I’m here. That it means something to people who care.
B: Wait—the captain said that?
A: Not word for word. But that’s how I understood it. So here I am. Still under his wings… under his command.
B: Wow… so this is like… romantic or something?
A: I don’t know. Maybe? We still have Arthur, and the captain doesn’t treat him any differently. Maybe the captain’s in love with me.
B: Isn’t he married?
A: Married?
B: He’s got that ring on his necklace. Doesn’t that mean anything?
A: Oh, that ring? I gave it to him.
B: Wait… you what? I was trying to make you leave the squad, and now—
A: Leave the squad? Why would I?
B: Not gonna lie… your skills aren’t up to par. You get what I mean.
A: Yeah, I get you. Are you saying that because you’re looking out for me… or because I’m dragging the team down?
B: Honestly? Both.
A: That hurts a little—but it’s the truth. Still… my answer’s no.
B: No? Why?
A: I know I’m baggage at this point… but I won’t quit.
B: Some of the squad would agree with me about you leaving. You know that, right?
A: I know.
B: So… are they harassing you or something?
A: Not anymore. I told the captain.
B: Really? What did he do?
A: He said he’d handle it. Things got better… just not by much.
B: That doesn’t sound like things actually got better.
A: Before, they got physical. I even got injured once. The captain was most concerned. He personally carried me to the infirmary.
B: What? When was that?
A: Back before he was captain. He knew my situation, but we were all the same rank. He could only comfort me… protect me when he could. When he wasn’t around… the bullying came back.
B: So… you two were kind of sweethearts?
A: Sort of. I think. Now that you mention it.
B: Okay, just to be clear—I’m not harassing you, alright? Please don’t tell the captain about me.
A: Relax. When he became captain, the physical bullying stopped. But the verbal stuff? Still there.
B: Even now?
A: Yeah. And when he got promoted, he told me to quit.
B: What?! I thought he was protecting and encouraging you!
A: He said I wasn’t good for the squad. That I was dragging everyone down. That I should go back to the countryside, find love… settle down.
B: Wait—what? That sounds like a breakup speech!
A: He said it kindly. He wanted me to live safely… peacefully.
B: So what did you say?
A: I told him I’d stay. No matter what.
B: Hold on—does that mean you proposed to him?
A: Propose? As in marriage? I… didn’t see it that way. And if it’s the proposal you’re talking about, he was the one who proposed.
B: What? Are you serious?
A: Yeah. A few days after that talk, he started avoiding me—like a shy school kid. Then the squad treated me nicely… even the mean ones. It felt like I’d suddenly become second-in-command.
B: So then what happened?
A: When I caught up with him, he handed me a ring. Said I should take it as an engagement ring… or just a gift, if I didn’t feel the same.
B: And?
A: I gave it back. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. My heart was all over the place… I just froze.
B: What?! You rejected the captain?!
A: No… not really. I told him to keep it until the day I actually leave the squad. Then he can give it to me again.
B: So you two are… engaged?
A: Yes? I think? Like two best buddies, right? We’ve met each other’s families, at least.
B: You serious?!
A: Excuse me?
B: Really?
A: What are you on about—
B: So things actually changed for the better.
A: I guess. Though the insults… they still come.
B: The squad still insults you? Even after all that? Does everyone know about you and the captain?
A: They know. Their smiles sting the most. When the captain and I walk together during inspection, they’ll say things like, “The countryside must be peaceful,” or “City life’s exciting, don’t you think?” Polite… fake. They just want me to quit.
B: I think you’re misunderstanding—
A: I think the captain’s in on it too. Maybe it’s all some plan to push me out. I should report this to HR—
B: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s calm down first, alright?
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