Random Leaf #1817

"I was wielding both a gun and a sword in my two hands. I have fully committed myself things will not go pretty here on out but I was stopped. I was told to save everyone. At that moment, the only thought that surged through my mind was everything that have happened, all that they did and why. Why do I have to save them?

"They mocked me for my weakness, they regarded the kindness I give unto them as weakness. Unknown to them I'm keeping tabs. They owe me a bunch. All of them. Yet, they have the audacity to abuse my generosity, to hurt me and the ones I love. They called me names, insulted my mother and father, they hurled at me hurtful words, even more painful than the whip they lashed and the rocks they threw on me.

"They hated me from my very core as if I never did anything good for them. I did what I was asked, it was my duty so, but I didn't know I'd get paid like this. I acted upon love and kindness and gentleness as I was ordered. I have no need nor any sort of connection to all them yet I followed. I kept the faith. And this is my reward.

"I hate them. I hate them. They don't deserved to be loved. They don't deserve your love. It is only right for them to be abandoned. Yet why am I the one asked to bear the cross? It isn't weapons I have on my hands, it is a symbol of punishment. My own coffin that I myself have to carry.

"Why must I not forsake them? Father, father, why must I not forsake them? Why am I the one abandoned?"