Random Leaf #1890

Perhaps the I reason

I was the one least affect

was because I was hoping.

I admit to me being less of faith

when it comes to religion

but i couldn't deny me being hopeful.

They were all accepting your looming fate

of your face behind a glass cover,

and you inside some box.

But I was not thinking of that,

at the very least my thought is guilty

filled with thoughts of other banalities.

But those thing are trivial

compared to my thought of after everything

I'll once again see you smiling

filled with energy,

the usual you,

first one to greet my return.

while i was thinking of rest and

perhaps of what to do next in the afternoon

while also thinking of what i left behind

you were thinking of what to cook next for me,

of passing sunday morning routine past time

of you being in one place while im right near you.

do you remember when i first toppled and

uprooted a tree while i was being playful?

you got mad at me for wrecking your clothesline

and the freshly washed clothes.

oh! what an earful I got after that 12 pm play.

I don't remember much of getting hurt,

But I do remember i was underneath the tree

when i toppled it.

i never really thought of how great you did the clothes i successfully messed.

then a few years hence,

after getting myself a vacation

i managed still to get on your grandmotherly worried side 

I really am a mischivious child when if

some great to few of times have passed

and always, always i managed successfully made you worried.

I really sorry, nanay.

whenever i'm with you,

i just can't help it.

must i remind you of what things we did

to have you more worried after my return?

to start with is my socializing skill,

it's very weak to alcohol, I know.

and then the many treks we did

that only you could describr as "nagaddayo."

from strange falls filled with fairy,

that we had to climbed

too many mountains to get to

and my one solo adventure to a border town

of whatever spirit that possessed my mind

just to prove my antics of childish playfulness.

don't forget about the many "pasalubong's"

i brought back to you,

i failed to move mountains but at least

I got you a few rocks to mark where i wad.

maybe one of them contained a diamond

left undiscovered because they are presented as rocks and no more as precious gems.

whatever adventure i should be doing

and whatever things to happen after,

at the end of the day, me seeing you smile

whenever i return home,

is a prize worth the many hardship

and even the world is just a fraction of its value.

this is the sole reason why i was never worried

because i know that it is you who should be,

and it's your face, beaming with radiance and anger

that i will always find beautiful,

others will be afraid,

but i don't think i can.

and now that yoi have turned ancient,

you smile no longer present

and you behind a glass cover

i will still find you beautiful

but i'm afraid I can no longer see you.

my eyes will be filled with shattered glass of it's own.

now that you're gone,

i will cry.

i will cry.